Small creatures that live primarily under couches and beds. They resemble cotton balls or soot balls or dust bunnies, although any smallish and round object with eyes and legs may be referred to as a crumpet. Most have stick-like arms and legs without knees or elbows. Crumpets are generally non-gender specific. Most people are unaware of their existence.
As I was eating my plate of crumpets, one tried to escape and I had to stab him with my fork as he ran across the table.