Merinsomnia is most frequently
described as difficulty sleeping
arising from the knowledge that
you could be playing Meridian 59, but are instead
laying sideways with your eyes
open. It is also sometimes accompanied by short 5 minute episodes in which you fall asleep
wake up again after dreaming you were playing Meridian 59. Patients suffering from Merinsomnia are easily identified by their blood shot eyes
and slow rocking
back and forth while they huddle in the corner of their room in the fetal position.
There have been many speculated
causes of Merinsomnia, but the scientific community has not yet come to a consensus as to what causes it.
Symptoms include: Headaches, hot flashes, sweating, tremors, dry mouth, kidney
stones, diarrhea, screaming, swamp ass, irritable bowel syndrome, excessive cursing, powdery white upper lip, scratching of the face and chest, backhanding your
annoying children, larping at work, not showing up to work, body odor, anti social behavior, and breath that
of dead fish and mango chutney.