4 definitions by Gil Barry

Top Definition
(verb) to get Mortimered is when a woman you're flirting with casually refers to her boyfriend in conversation so as to dissuade you from making further advances without seeming rude. The term derives from the fact that her boyfriend is probably stupid, and his stupid name is probably Mortimer.
guy 1: "dude did you go home with that girl from the bar last night?"
guy 2: "nah, I thought I was golden but then she Mortimered me hardcore."
guy 1: "bad times."
by Gil Barry January 21, 2009

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Used to describe a babe with bodacious tatas or a bangin' posterior; particularly a dime so hot that you can barely suppress the thought of using one of her boobs as a bicycle seat. Often abbreviated "HMD."
guy1: "Have you met that new girl in the office? what a babe!"
guy2: "yeah man, old news, she's a total hottie of mass destruction."
guy1: "an HMD, as it were."
guy2: "word."
by Gil Barry July 07, 2009

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The cache of downloaded porn you keep in a secret location on your computer.
guy 1: "My roommate borrowed my laptop and I'm afraid he discovered my P:\ drive."
guy 2: "Oh snap, did you have nugget porn in there?"
guy 1: "Yeah. bad times."
by Gil Barry February 26, 2010

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A member of the opposite sex with whom you would not have sex.

This is based on an ingenious recalibration of the conventional 0 - 10 scale so that 5 is the equilibrium point at which you would just have sex with a person, but not really be enthusiastic about it. The magnitude of ratings above 5 denotes how badly you want to bone, and the magnitude of ratings below 5 denotes how vehemently you'd avoid boning.

An alternate definition of a rating of 5 useful for males is describing someone which you would neither thrust into nor attempt to remove from your penis.

Recognized antonyms: Super-5, Supra-5
"I would rather brush my teeth with jizz than have sex with her, she's incredibly sub-5. She's a 2."

"Eh, I don't really care, shes exactly a 5. I'd let her climb my dick, I guess."

"I'd pay $100 to put my dick in her hair. She's a 9."
by Gil Barry March 15, 2010

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