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69 definitions by George McBob

A political system that is the closest African countries are capable of coming to democracy.

An Afrocratic system is characterised by elections that are held irregularly, with vote rigging, ghost voters, election fraud and voter intimidation.

Inevitably the same old tin pot dictator gets "elected by the people" for 20 years in a row.

All of the country's social and economic problems are blamed on white people (even though they haven't had anything to do with the country in decades) instead of the rampant corruption in the government.
Zimbabwe: a classic example of Afrocracy.
by George McBob May 06, 2009
v. to smoke weed.

S. Afr. slang, pronounced "goof"

To be goefed is to be stoned out of your bracket.
Mike went outside to have a goef.

I'm going get lekker goefed tonignt, bru.
by George McBob April 24, 2009
After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.

Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.

They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.

Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
a device for turning money into shit and injuries.
Every Saturday afternoon, the hospital has at least 5 or 6 horse injury cases.

Oats + bran + hay + horse = very expensive shit.
by George McBob May 17, 2009
v. to drive really, really fast.

Named after the Stig in Top Gear. Of course no mortal can drive as fast as the Stig, although you may come close if you can Stiganate.
We're late. I'm gonna stiganate.
by George McBob May 06, 2009
A kugel is a special breed of rich middle-aged woman living in Johannesburg. Originally, the word kugel only applied to Jewish women (a kugel a Jewish potato-based dish), but now applies to any spoilt housewife.

Very distinctive characteristics of kugels are: A very nasal accent, calling everyone "doll", looking down on people who don't live in the Northern Suburbs, mistreating their housekeepers, spending half their lives talking on a cellphone, intense Botox treatment, wearing leopardskin patterned clothes and driving fancy 4x4s but refusing to take them offroad.

They tend to congregate at Sandton City, talk about shoes, nails and other kugels, cheat on their husbands and only tip 5%. A classic stereotypical kugel is Gwen Anderson from the South African comic strip Madam and Eve.
Kugel: Like, you know what I'm saying doll, she knows her husbands having an affair with....(25 minutes pass)... anyway, I have to like hang up doll, my nails are almost dry and I have to hurry up to get my hair done... ok doll, mwah bye.
by George McBob May 06, 2009
Just Another Third World African Shit Hole.
Here's to Mozambique, our favourite jatwash!
by George McBob May 04, 2009