69 definitions by George McBob

The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.

They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.

They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.

Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
by George McBob May 21, 2009

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The guy who laughs three seconds after everyone else.

It means someone who's IQ is a touch on the low side
The stand up comic was awesome, but there was a really annoying three seconder in the row behind us.

Dave is a bit of a three seconder sometimes.
by George McBob May 18, 2009

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The phenomenon by which decaf can actually keep you awake, but only if you don't know it's decaf.
The cafcebo effect is a medical mystery.
by George McBob May 17, 2009

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v. to drive really, really fast.

The expressing comes from the anime Initial D, where the hero Takumi is under the tutelage of his father, who makes him drive with a cup of water in his car in order to teach him to drive without spilling, since he delivers tofu. However, when he enters a race in the first episode, his father tells him he doesn't need the cup, and can drive as fast as he can.
We're late. I'm gonna spill the tofu.
by George McBob May 06, 2009

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v. to smoke weed.

S. Afr. slang, pronounced "goof"


To be goefed is to be stoned out of your bracket.
Mike went outside to have a goef.

I'm going get lekker goefed tonignt, bru.
by George McBob April 24, 2009

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v. to drive really, really fast.

Named after the Stig in Top Gear. Of course no mortal can drive as fast as the Stig, although you may come close if you can Stiganate.
We're late. I'm gonna stiganate.
by George McBob May 06, 2009

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A sleazy wedding chapel, of the kind made famous in Las Vegas.

At a McChapel, you can hire a wedding dress for an hour and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Ushers often expect tips.
Did you hear Mike and Sandy got married in a McChapel downtown?
by George McBob April 29, 2009

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