a device for turning money into shit and injuries.
Every Saturday afternoon, the hospital has at least 5 or 6 horse injury cases.
Oats + bran + hay + horse = very expensive shit.
A kugel is a special breed of rich middle-aged woman living in Johannesburg. Originally, the word kugel only applied to Jewish women (a kugel a Jewish potato-based dish), but now applies to any spoilt housewife.
Very distinctive characteristics of kugels are: A very nasal accent, calling everyone "doll", looking down on people who don't live in the Northern Suburbs, mistreating their housekeepers, spending half their lives talking on a cellphone, intense Botox treatment, wearing leopardskin patterned clothes and driving fancy 4x4s but refusing to take them offroad.
They tend to congregate at Sandton City, talk about shoes, nails and other kugels, cheat on their husbands and only tip 5%. A classic stereotypical kugel is Gwen Anderson from the South African comic strip Madam and Eve.
Kugel: Like, you know what I'm saying doll, she knows her husbands having an affair with....(25 minutes pass)... anyway, I have to like hang up doll, my nails are almost dry and I have to hurry up to get my hair done... ok doll, mwah bye.
To securely delete all data from a hard drive, usually by overwriting the entire disc with random numbers.
A nuker is a bootable disc that will securely erase data, file structures and partition tables from all hard drives it detects. The most used nuker is Darik's Boot and Nuke (commonly called DBAN).
Always be ready to nuke your hard drive in an emergency.
Quick it's the copyright gestapo! I've got 40 pirated ISOs on my pc! NUKE NUKE NUKE!
In scuba diving, having reg soup means vomiting into your regulator.
This usually occurs as a result of seasickness, a heavy night out at the dive camp, or a combination of both.
When you make reg soup, your choices are to purge your reg and breath through your own puke for the rest of your dive and hope nobody notices, or switch to your spare reg and look like an idiot in front of your whole dive group.
Dave: Those were some big swells out there. Getting back into the boat was tough.
Steve: I know. Mike had reg soup during the deco stop.
Dave: Ha ha! What a chop!
The act of behaving like a gentleman with the ulterior motive of getting a good eyeful of a hot girl.
Examples would include letting a girl go ahead of you up an escalator so that you can stare at her ass on the way up, or letting her have your seat on the bus so that you can stand next to her and stare down her top.
Pervalry is a portmanteau of the words "pervert" and "chivalry".
Hey, a hot girl's coming down the aisle. Show some pervalry and give her your seat.
Someone who starts a conversation with you when in fact you have no wish to speak to them, then talks for ages without giving you an opportunity to excuse yourself without appearing rude.
Hostage talkers either enjoy making you uncomfortable or are completely oblivious to the fact that they are not wanted. People likely to be hostage talkers are mothers, younger brothers, bosses or people to whom you owe money.
Dave: Why isn't Mike here yet?
Steve: I think he ran into Linda in the hallway.
Dave: Damn, then he'll be ages. She's a hostage talker.
The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"