(S. Afr.) VIP protection motorcade.
Blue light brigades consist of between five and twenty black SUVs with tinted windows and flashing blue lights, depending on the overinflation of the ego of the obnoxious fatcat contained therein.
Blue light brigades have been known to force honest taxpaying motorists off the road or even shoot at them. They don't stop a traffic lights, drive in emergency lanes and break every possible traffic law.
In South Africa, the proper road etiquette when encountering one is to drive into their lane and block them for as long as possible without endangering your own vehicle, hoot repeatedly and wind down your window to give them the finger. You should also politely request all your passengers to give them the finger too.
I almost got rammed by a blue light brigade the other day. There were 20 vehicles in it, so it must have been Jacob Zuma or someone. I blocked him for 15 seconds and gave him the finger though.
The horrible tangled mass of hair, soap scum and bodily fluids that clogs the plughole of a bath or shower.
Usually caused by women who wash their hair, shave their legs and armpits or trim their pubic hair in the shower.
If not dealt with in their early stages, they will grow, block the pipes, float around in a pool of water that spills onto the bathroom floor. and produce a clan of sentient offspring that attack you in the dead of night and drag you off into the sewers.
It takes a brave man to remove a bathroom wookiee.
A Zeroeth Law is a law that is added to another set of laws at a later date.
It is usually so important that the other laws cannot function without it, yet so obvious that nobody thought it needed stating.
The Zeroeth Law of thermodynamics: If objects B and C are both in thermal equilibrium with object A, then they are in thermal equilibrium with each other.
Isaac Asimov's Zeroth Law of Robotics: A robot may not harm humanity, or through inaction allow humanity to come to harm.
Newton's Zeroeth Law of Motion: If objects A and B are moving relative to object C at velocities v1 and v2, then they are moving relative to each other at velocity v3 which is the difference between v1 and v2. (Note: This law is now known not to be true, especially near the speed of light. That's where Einstein comes in)
The Zeroeth Commandment: Thou Shalt believe all of this and never question what thou art told.
S. Afr. word for pickup truck. Pronounced "bucky"
The bakkie holds the same place in the heart and soul of the South African dutchman
as the pickup does in that of the American redneck.
Koos will bring a braai
and some fishing tackle in his bakkie.
Namibian slang for nigger.
It comes from the phrase "you can take the kaffir
out of the bush, but you can't take the bush out of the kaffir"
Don't go down that street. There's a whole lot of bush cats down there.
An extreme sport popular in Soweto, South Africa.
It includes things like hanging onto a moving train and sliding your feet on the platform, standing on the roof and dodging powerlines, jumping on and off repeatedly, jumping from a bridge onto a moving train and jumping between carriages. The more dangerous the stunt, the better.
It is illegal, and fatalities are common
Sipho and Themba went train surfing from Dobsonville to Orlando.
A typing style used by complete noobs.
Their finger circles above the keyboard like a vulture over the hot, dry savannah as they search for the right key.
My grandma is still vulture typing. No wonder she takes so long to reply to my emails.