An extremely gay sport that gives high school fags a reason to feel "cool" while also comforting them from the fact that they have extremely small dicks. The objective... to be as gay as possible while throwing a leather ball and wearing pads like a pussy. The truth... American football is a slow-paced, piece of shit sport that involves a minimum of 11 vaginas on the field at once.
Football Fag: "Hey, do you think I have a chance at fucking that hot chick from our Calc class?"
Soccer player: "Yeah sure, if your dick was existent and you weren't such a faggot."
Football Fag: "Hey thanks man. I'm a tool because I play American Football."
Soccer player: "Fuck off."