18 definitions by FunkyBumpkin

Much like a hillbilly, but even lower on the scale, since here in Michigan, they don't even have the benefit of a hill's potential scenic value, since the land is so damn flat. These ass-backward bumblefucks are just out the middle of big flat nowhere with nothing but dirt. Characterized by decaying, halfway or completely caved-in barns, various cars or trucks on blocks with weeds growing up through them, "yards" cluttered and basically unmowable from so much junk, extreme ignorance, as well as paranoia in thinking that anybody is actually going to steal or vandalize their broken old crap.
After we went 4-wheeling down his fence-row (not even in the fields), to get to the riding trails, the dirtbilly neighbor came out with his shotgun and threatened to shoot us for "messin with his poperty".
by FunkyBumpkin May 23, 2005
1) one who is afraid of women. (this may mutate into outright misogyny if left untreated. An excellent remedy is for a considerate, reasonably sexy, sexually enthusiastic woman to fuck the gynophobe's brains out.)
2) a repressed woman afraid of her own vulva and/or sexuality.
3) an otherwise straight man who is too much of a pussy to perform cunnilingus.

See also: nice guy, prude, double standard, Republican, gangsta.
1) That Joe guy seems pretty nice, but he needs to get laid for all our sakes, he is such a gynophobe!
2) The gynophobes were out in force at the Ladies Bible Study Group.
3) Their sex-life progressing nicely, Alex & Tina bought some Tangerines & Cream lube at the "toy store" to slather on her yoni and get him past his inner gynophobe as he lapped it up that night.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
1) the dominant member of a pack of wolves.
2) any person with a dominating personality, causing the assertion of or struggle for leadership in almost any situation.
While Dubya was busily pretending to be an alpha-male whilst getting coked up and going AWOL from his Air National Guard unit during Vietnam, John Kerry was matter-of-factly leading his swiftboat successfully through enemy fire in true alpha-male form.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
In culinary circles, an ironic term for red meat which has been drastically overcooked, destroying all or most of its flavor and rendering a toughness and texture akin to that of shoe leather.

ORIGINS: In fact, during the Great Depression, many restaurants and diners were unable to purchase enough beef, and began sneaking out at night to carve slices out of the uppers of the shoes & boots of bums sleeping in their doorways. This material was then soaked in a brine for several days, strained, and thrown on the grill just for any customers whose order specified their meat be cooked "fully through, till grey and thoroughly well done". As the most available brand of boots at the time were embossed with their maker's name, "Wellington", some experts believe the term well-done was simply a mistaken attempt to order some more of what the patron believed to be a famous "Wellington" brand steak. Since purchase of a brand name product in those days was associated with wealth and refinement, it is likely that in the early days, those ordering the "Wellington" steaks did so purely as an attempt to one-up their fellows or announce their status, despite its inferior pallatability when compared with less prestigious, non-branded steaks. Over time, the misguided confusion between a Wellington, a well-done, and displays of status became permanently lodged in the culture so that the destruction of otherwise good meat by this pauper's cooking method still persists to this very day.

Other scholars believe this term, or its equivalent, originated when an ancient cave-chef, totally inept at grilling meat, yet trying to get some (insert your favorite euphemism here) from a sexy naive young cave temptress, tried to hide his ineptitude and utter desicration of a choice cut of buffalo or whatever the hell they ate, by responding to her complaints about the meat's dryness and lack of flavor by saying, "You said you liked it cooked well. This is well-done. It is rare to get a steak that can safely be consumed with the center bloody and pinkish-red, and I didn't want you to get food poisoning." Cave languages being somewhat less verbally sophisticated, however, this would probably sound to the modern ear more like "unga bunga", accompanied by various gestures, snorts, and other ape-like movements.
"Isn't it funny how a steak that's well-done is anything but done well?"
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
Referrring to a group of people that is no fun by virtue of acting like puritans, boy scouts, or for their failure to participate. Since the word "lame" has itself been very lame for quite some time, this new term has stepped in to fill that need.
"So did John & Lisa make it out to the club last night?"
"No! Those f*cking dead elves!"
by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005
A male organ de-sensitizer that is the only way that piece of shit Tom DeLay can keep from jizzing himself anytime he contemplates his pact with Satan.

See also: Tom DeLay
In exchange for a soul, Tom DeLay chose a corrupt power grab and a case of "Man DeLay" to subdue his raging hard-on for Terri Schiavo, the only "living" woman who didn't threaten his fragile sense of masculinity with things like thought, speech, or any signs of being a human being rather than a baby-making factory with no right even to accurate information about contraception, let alone control over her own body and its reproductive organs.
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005
A couch potato who is also extremely stoned. (see also baked)
Dude, let's go get something to eat!You've been just staring at the TV all night with that bong in your hand, you baked potato!
by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×