17 definitions by Frustrated_Monolingual

(noun) - an asymmetrical business arrangement, usually in employment, where the risks of loss are concentrated on the employee to ensure that the employee has guaranteed losses on any business reversals and contingent returns on any positive developments.
You have mountains of downside equity in that contract. The partners can deduct from your paycheck to make you eat the cost of delays that the partners exclusively control. They can swallow your commission if their client doesn't pay. They can even recapture from your future salary any underpayment with the negative carry-forward that they've imposed. On the whole, you're just a sharecropper with a JD.
by Frustrated_Monolingual November 29, 2010
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Bonebait - a junior coworker who is so hot that her superiors would gladly risk their employment and a sexual harassment lawsuit in exchange for a sexual encounter with her
Example one: So, I'm sitting in the breakroom, pouring a cup of coffee, when that pile of smokin' bonebait that you call a secretary walks in. I poured her a cup, and she starts telling me about how bad her marriage is, and I thought, "Wow, half the lawyers in this town would gladly get a second divorce for a shot at this."

Example two: Yeah, your secretary looks pretty good... for her age... but you know that, twenty years ago, she was total bonebait.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 22, 2009
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(N) A situation in which multiple levels of the chain of authority recurringly issue conflicting instructions or directives for appropriate action and punish any the inevitable resulting violations. Whichever side of the subordinate lands on, he will get the crap knocked out of him by someone.
This job is total fail pong. I go to the boss and tell him the solution is Y. The boss orders me to do X. I then get an email from the boss's boss asking why the fuck I did X instead of Y, and then I get bitched out by the client. No matter which way you go, you're screwed.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 27, 2010
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Adjective - in a state of complete disorder such that it appears that the situation is being directed by angry baboons.
The thing that's making my schedule so zooperb these days is that the guys who are complaining about the timeliness of my work product are the same guys who are refusing to let me start work until they sign off on the proposals and recommendations that have been rotting on their desks for the past two months.
by Frustrated_Monolingual August 26, 2009
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(n) The guy who, after leaving a crappy job, helps his buddies from the crappy job find new jobs at his new company.
Frank is a Job Schindler. As soon as he got out of there, he started pimping our resumes to his bosses.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 9, 2010
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(n) - a social network consisting of the diaspora of former coworkers who scatter when a formerly-functional workplace detonates and everyone runs for the exits or loses employment. The post-detonation value of a workaspora to any particular member is directly proportional to the quality of the workforce assembled by the formerly-functional workplace prior to the detonation.
Example (1): She shouldn't have any trouble finding a job. The workaspora from her company is now spread out over every profitable firm in her industry.

Example(2): The reason that the workaspora from her company is so tight is that they had all loved working together before the merger and the shared suffering of the acquisition forced them to watch each other's backs until each person could get over the wall.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 17, 2011
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(n) - In a workplace setting, a proposal with which the proposing party is obsessively infatuated in spite of the fact that the idea obviously lacks commercial, technical or intellectual merit. The term "midget dick" is especially appropriate to proposals advanced by leadership, because the Napoleonic height of the midget is implicitly compared to the leadership of the proposing party. Midget dick proposals are usually implemented only if the midget is sufficiently powerful that coworkers are unwilling to point out the obvious deficiencies.
The customers are going to make fun of the latest midget dick from our product manager, but nobody's willing to stop her because she's sleeping with the boss.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 20, 2011
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