Once commonly used as the filling of a sandwich, this meat, partially comprised of filler and hoof, is today the hottest party accessory. Across the country, socialites blow between .5-1 gram of cocaine, then strip to their underwear, and cover themselves with bologna. They wear "meat masks" made of bologna with eye holes cut into them for optimal visibility. Some hot celebs who have been photographed having cocaine-fueled bologna parties: Eva Longoria, Tom Cruise, Richard Gere, Gwyneth Paltrow.
Ben: "Hey, we need three pounds of bologna...I have a couple spicgooks coming over for a coke-fueled meat party tonight!"
Tom: "Oh they're coming?! Holy Niggadick! I'll go pick up the bologna and an eight-ball!"
Once commonly used as a kitchen utensil for tenderizing meat, the meat tenderizer now plays a large part in homosexul deviance, and has even become commonly accepted in heterosexual practices. In most cases, a man or woman will repeatedly smash his or her partner's balls, penis or grundle. In some instances, smashing of the clitoris, labia or nose may occur. The use of meat tenderizers during sexual encounters leads to heightened sexual arousal, and is considered a remedy for erectile dysfunction and failing marriages.
Ben: "Tom, why do you have a meat tenderizer hanging up next to your collection of huge double-sided dildos?"
Tom: "Actually, Ben, the meat tenderizer is one of my favorite sex toys. I like it when Gary smashes me in the balls with it and calls me the ugliest trannie he's ever seen. Then he sodomizes me with the back end of it and makes me smell it."