14 definitions by FannyFondler

Top Definition
1) Sometimes classified as a Hair Metal group they were really just an overrated pop rock band. They rose to success in the 1980s by taking the sound of already successful, more talented acts such as Def Leppard, Motley Crue and Van Halen and pussifying it into the bland, repetitive, pop music they are known for. Were popular with young women mostly because they all just wanted to bang Jon Bon Jovi, the lead singer. Their popularity has dwindled in recent years due to the fact that their fan base is now in their 40s and no longer part of the most import demographic in terms of record sales, teenage girls. For similar bands, see Poison.

2) A bloody stool
1) Guy 1: What's the difference between Bon Jovi and the Jonas Brothers?

Guy 2: What?

Guy 1: About 20 years

2) Oh man I just came back from the doctor. He gave me some pills that should prevent me from having so many Bon Jovis.
by FannyFondler July 17, 2010
Tranny Madonna wannabe with a penis. She is not original, she is not creative, and she has about as much musical talent as your average high school band student.

Bob: We are no longer friends.
by FannyFondler October 03, 2010
The greatest Metal vocalists/lyricist of all time. Born July 10, 1942 and originally named Ronald James Padavona, he released his first single with the band Ronnie and the Red Caps in 1958. He continued to grace the world with his amazing voice for the next 52 years as the lead singer of several legendary bands such as Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, and Heaven and Hell. Also very famous for his invention of the devil horns hand gesture, a fact that comes as a shock to most people considering Dio is widely believed to be the second coming of Jesus. He passed away May 16, 2010, the same day all the happiness in the world vanished.
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio
by FannyFondler July 17, 2010
Shia LaBeouf, known best for his roles in the Disney Channel show Even Stevens and in the motion picture Transformers, is a shapeshifting demi-god who is currently the greatest actor on the face of the earth. He was not born, but created in a rousing session of butt-sex involving Chuck Norris and Zeus, the god of thunder. In Greek his names means "The One Who Fucks Grizzly Bears", while in Latin it simply translates to " Big Dicked Moistener of Vaginas."

The first known historical evidence of Shia LaBeouf dates back to ancient Egypt. It is said that when Shia arrived in the country he immediately fucked all the hot Egyptian pussy. In fact, he fucked them so hard that they all died from internal bleeding. Furious, Shia created 10 plauges to spread across the country. He also freed the Jewish slaves and let them cross the red sea on his gigantic dick. Afterward he left the country and swore that from then on he would only pound chicks hard enough to make their vaginas bleed a little bit. This is the reason women now menstrate.

In the past he has taken on many names and identities. Some of these include Hercules, King Arthur, William Shakespeare, General William Tecumseh Sherman, Walter Cronkite, Smokey the Bear, James Earl Jones, Ted Nugent and Samuel L. Jackson. This does not include the people that Shia himself created. Some examples would be Ron Jeremy, who was forged from a wart on Shia's dick and Michael Moore, who was spawned from a giant shit Shia once took.

Shia's best scientific achievement is easily curing polio. He did this by putting his jizz in a syringe and injecting it into an infected woman. He didn't know she had polio, he just wanted to inject his seamen into her. He is also credited with punching a hole through the ozone layer with his left testicle. His right testicle is responsible for creating the Grand Canyon.

Shia first appeared in his current form in 2000 as Louis Stevens on Even Stevens. Since then he has starred in several amazing films such as Transformers, Disturbia, Eagle Eye, and Holes (which ironically enough was the name of a porn he did under another one of his pseudonyms, Peter North).

Today Shia still roams the earth pounding hot chicks and eating live hand grenades. In fact, I believe that he is currently banging you mom/sister/wife/girlfriend.

Shia LaBeouf has a gigantic dick.

Shia LaBeouf is the greatest actor in the history of actors.
by FannyFondler December 30, 2008
1. The state of being excessively arrogant or cocky.

2. The act of choking, as in an unexpected loss.

3. The process of karma catching up with a cheater or team of cheaters.
1. Bob was so too 18-1 going into that Tennis match and lost because of it.

2. Timmy was up by 5 points but managed to 18-1 the game away at the end.

3. 18-1 will eventually happen to Barry Bonds.
by FannyFondler February 12, 2008
The act of masturbating at a speed so fast that the friction causes your penis to catch fire.
Johnny loves to get a Flaming Salaami going before he puts his head between his legs and proceeds to suck his own dick.
by FannyFondler February 11, 2007
When two people bash their bare asses together for sexual pleasure. Basically making out with your ass cheaks.
Timmy: Meso horny.

Jimmy: Wanna do a Bavarian Butt Bash?

Timmy: Okay just take the dildo out of your ass this time.

by FannyFondler June 05, 2007

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