You get this filthy pig that hungry for some jizz and you take her on a car ride. Put 19 packets of sweet-n-low on your cock to sweeten the deal. As soon as she starts giving you head drive like a bat of a hell. Your mission.....GET PULLED OVER. As soon as you get pulled over pull up your pants and act innocent. She will have a sweet-n-low beard which resembles cocaine. Tell the officer she is crazy and strung out. Pop open a beer and watch her little ass get arrested.
I was taking a shit by the bowling alley and spotted a seventh day adventist. I got her in the car and she agreed to dust the ole twig... that shit was all over the newspapers for a week.
Get a willing party to give you head with skittles in there mouth. Just as you are about to spew your stomache pancakes... kick them in the gut. They will spray the contents of their mouth on you. Stick a paintbrush up your ass and sniff some model airplane glue.
I wined and dined my best friends grandma. She was so turned on by the fifth of Hennessey I fed her she wanted to go straight home and do the Picasso.
That irritating fucking commercial where that dirty ass douche bag sings about chocolate covered mountain tops and waterfalls of caramel. I want to take his guitar and shove it up his ass. This song is so annoying... everytime it comes on I wipe my roomates toothbrush inside my asshole.
I was getting hot and heavy with my sister and cooed the snickers song to her. She wouldn't have anything to do with it. She kicked my ass out of bed and shat upon my toothbrush.