Its Heaven and Hell down here. I know since I lived here my whole life. Unlike the stereotype, we dont only have palm trees, its not always sunny but it alway rains and its always hot exept in January when it gets down to the 40's or rarely the high 30's (how the hell do you guys up north stand it?!?),we dont go to the beach every day but at least once a week if there isn't something in the water (shit, trash, fatass people in the water, etc.), and its not overun by old people (they live in north florida but I and most people in south florida don't really care about N. FL.).
What is true is that there is always hotass chicks wearing thongs around to have sex with, during summer there's always fat tourists everyware you turn buying overpriced shit, complaning how hot it is, and wearing things on the beach you should never wear.
Downtown Miami is drug central and the worlds biggest pawn shop. You need some dope, got it. You need an Usi or two, got it too. You need a hit, already done.
Most people who drive down here seam to have never gotten a drivers license. Theres the asshole who goes in the turning lane and nearly fishtails you, the old people who drive 30 mph on the highway, the chicks that just talk on their cellphone and cut clean across from the far right lane to the left turning lane, nearly causing a huge crash, and the guy who drives 30 mph on a 45 mph road but should be going around 50+ if there's no police around and when you try and pass him, he speeds up and stops you from passing if there's a faster car in the other lane.
We don't all live in apartments. I live in a two story house in the suberbs in Pembroke Pines which you probably never heard of. Its like houses in other states but are painted in a wide veriety of colors, no cibneys since we got a/c, and no basements since if you make a hole for one it will just fill with water and become an indoor swimming pool.
We don't care so much about hurricanes unless its a strong cat. 3 or a 4 or 5 coming straight for us like Andrew or last year's, Wilma. The rest are just annoyances that give us a day off from school and work. The only people that go crazy when a 1-3 hurricane comes in are tourists and people who just moved here and never been in a hurricane.
We need to get rid of Jeb Bush, FCAT, lazy tourists, F.E.M.A., crappy teachers, old people driving, satellite tv since the satellites always get destroyed in any hurricane, dumbass driving, racist police who somehow out of all the people on the road, pull over the black guy and says he did 90 on a 45 road, and Hummers. I mean seriously, what do you need it for? There's no hills or mountains here so you never use any SUV for its real purpose and most people don't get it for putting big stuff in so all you have it for is to look like you got some cash to burn on buying gas few miles for 2.25 per gallon at Cosco cause Shell is expencive, all other places are full and noone likes bp.
Overall its not a bad a place to live if you can deal with some of the downsides.
South Florida has its ups and downs but is still an nice place to live if you pick the right palce to live since all the cities are different.
P.S.: Does all the gas stations up north got some dude fill your car up for you? I know its true in New Jersey but not down here. Just wanted to through that out.
What the guys at Nintendo were smokin' when they thought of the name.
"When we thought of the name, we were smokin' wiid."
The politically correct way how to describe a black person.
I don't really mind but why should I be called an African American when I wasn't born in Africa, never been to Africa, and am not a legal citizen of any countries in Africa? Because if thats true, then white people should be called European Americans and asian people should be called Asian Americans.
On an Internet Forum:
Me: Im black.
P.C. Person: You mean African-American.
Me: No, I may be of African decent but I dont have any connections with Africa otherwise, cause in that case i should call you a European American.
P.C. Person: You mean white person right?
Me: No you dumb asshole! *loads gun*
The worst forums on the web. Filled with emos with no life who worship Eric Bauman and will spam you if you say anything negitive about eBaumsworld. Also referred to dumbass
eBaums World Forums:
eBaum fanboy: This is the greatest website ever!
User: Its a good website but I like Newgrounds more.
eBaum fanboy: NO ITZ NOT!!! EBAUMS IZ T3 B3$7!!! NEWGROUNDS SUX AZZ!!!!
Admin: Thats a good lacky.
(Admin bans you peminently for no reason whatsoever.)
The only place you can get your drivers license from the back of a box of Caption Crunch.
Yes, its my 16th birthday! Im gunna go get my florida drivers license now.
*cuts it out of a cereal box*
When your doing a chick from behind, and she has her elbows on the table in front of her, you say “Do you know what time it is?”. When she replies “No”, you say “Table Time” and slam her head onto the table.
Table Time is not recommended for people who want to keep an relationship. Just warning you
The official and unusual name for the Nintendo Revolution. Pronounced "we", it opens up many marketing posibilitys like:
"Do you Wii? We Wii"
"Wii will own you"
"Wii want it"
"I gotta take a Wii"
"Wii Will Wii Will Rock you"
"Wii Will, Wii Will.....fail in the u.s."
And my personal favorite:
"When we thought of the name, we were smoking Wiid"
Watch my Nintendo Wii cause I gotta take a wee.
"It seems to me that all they did was take the namesake of nintendo wifi and dropped the f and thought... shit.. that'll work.."