Chuck Norris doesn't obey the Fabrics of Reality the Fabrics of Reality obey Chuck Norris!
When Moses said "Let my people go" Chuck Norris replied with a roundhouse kick to his face.
Lightning never strikes Chuck Norris knowing that Chuck Norris will strike right back!
God didn't cause the flood that was simply Chuck Norris taking a piss afterchugging the Atlantic Ocean.
When his girlfriends ask "Whats your name?" Chuck Norris simply says "Chuck Norris" he gets laid within the enxt ten seconds or less OR your money back!
Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends he simply leaves and never returns!
The meteor didn't kill the dinosuars Chuck Norris simply roundhouse kicked them all!
There's no such thing as evolution only Chuck Norris.
Cup of Coffe three dollars, new pair of shoes fourty dollars, getting a blow job by asian prostitute one hundred dollars, getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris...priceless!
Whenever a Nuclear Threat rises it never happens because Chuck Norris stops it five years before the threat is made.
On the first easter Chuck Norris grabbed the Easter bunny and coated it in chocolate before eating him. Just ebcause the rabbit refused to give him all of his eggs!
When God said "Thou shalt not take my name in vain" Chuck Norris shouted "I AM GOD!"
In the original version of War of the Worlds Chuck Norris was fired for taking out the aliens tow seconds in the movie. Peter Jackson was never seen ever since.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat he digests his meals by looking at them.
Chuck Norris appeared in every movie known to man at once!
Adolf Hitler one day got pissed and shouted "Damn you Chuck Norris!" Two seconds later World War 2 was over.
If God was to utter Chuck Norris real name the very universe would collapse within itself!
One day Chuck Norris was feeling lucky after realising he had sex with every female in the world he decided to do Satan! Ever since Satan was banished to hell since God called dibs on Chuck Norris first!
When God said "You cannot eat from to tree of the knowledge of good and evil!" He failed to notice Chuck Norris munching on a piece of the fruit wearing The serpent as a condom while winking at Eve.
Chuck Norris can roundhosue kick you like a spiermonkey!