Canadians are nice, polite, non-violent people, so don't believe all this crap about moose antlers, maple syrup, the Stanley Cup, or mounties. In fact, nothing depraved ever happens in Canada. Up here north of the 49th, the term Canada's History simply refers to any friendly act of Sex in the Snow, wearing clap skates. And if Stephen Colbert doesn't know that, he should have his ombudsmanship revoked.
I have a degree in Canada's History, but they wouldn't let me in the Olympics anyway.