3 definitions by Effluent Mills

Top Definition
(Psych) Thick As Pig Shit.
Condition where a child appeared to be completely un-educatable, slow, moronic and lazy, frequently getting into trouble for which (in former times) the only solution was repeated savage arse smacking and caning. These punishments are now known to bring temporary relief from the underlying cause of TAPS, i.e. Anal Distraction Disorder (see ADD). The term is now obsolete, being the former psychological term for the condition now recognised as ADD.
Strueth! that Sheila was so TAPS, just could not take a hint, I had to dump her by faking my own death.
by Effluent Mills August 28, 2008
SAD
(Psych) Smelly Arse Disorder.
Psychological condition whereby a fellow thinks he is being shunned by his peers, due to his untreated ADD (Anal Distraction Disorder), whereby his constant poking of the spiders eye gives rise to a foul odour surrounding the unfortunate chap, often accomanied by clouds of buzzing flies. The afflicted often becomes maudlin and morose. The sufferer then goes on to think that it is his morbid demenour is the cause of his pariah status, causing further depression.
Billy (Brown Fingers) Jones was always found alone and miserable until his SAD was diagnosed and treated.
by Effluent Mills August 28, 2008
ADD
Anal Distraction Disorder,
New internationally agreed upon psychological term for the condition, (formally classified as TAPS), whereby the sufferer is prevented from concentrating on anything for any length of time due to an obsessive compulsion to scratch his arse. In schoolchildren this disorder results in their being unable to absorb any information at school, giving the (sometimes false) impression that they are too fucking thick to educate.
Thankfully the symptoms are now treatable by a variety of methods, including strong phsycoactive drugs (causing the sufferer to sit in silent terror of his own halucinations, but from the outside he appears to be concentrating hard on his lessons). Another more progressive treatment is omega 3 fish oil, which one presumably rubs on his arse to relive the itching.
Terrence Fucktard was pleased when his diagnosis was changed from TAPS to ADD, as he could now sell his prescription as 'trips' to his classmates
by Effluent Mills August 28, 2008
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