The greatest pizza topping in the world but unfortunately not sold by any pizza place. If you phone up a pizza place and ask for this fine pizza the 'hard working' dickhead will say "sorry mate we dont do that one." Rather than asking what is on it and making a sale. The Pork Scotch pizza is loved by fat, old, arseholes of security guards, mainly Pork Scotch himself. The topping is pork pieces in a thick gravy sauce.
MANLY GIRLFRIEND: I'm ordering Italian tonight. What do you want Max?
MAX: Just 3 Pork Scotch pizzas please.
A cheap, shit brand of biscuits. They are vile and sweeter than sugar. These are loved by SNUF and so he buys Me and Mickus 20 packs each in every SNUF Bag every week. We hate em so we bog the bastards down the Asda toilets and shit on em. This will be the fate of every Hill Biscuit.
MONKUS: What's in this weeks SNUF Bags?
SWYTHEERBRIDGE: A bag of crisps and 20 packets of Hill Biscuits.
MONKUS: OK I'll eat the crisps now and we'll take the Hill's to Asda to bog em.
A gay dance that only Pork Scotch will do when drunk at his garlic bread barbeque. It involves bending over and sharply moving his arms back and forward with a delay between each one.
MONKUS: What the hell is Pork Scotch doing?
MICKUS: It's a gay dance he does whenever he gets drunk with his wrinkly 'girlfriend' at one of his daily barbeques.
MONKUS: I see. Pork Scotch dance. Pretty stupid!
What a rude Nignog woman used to say at a party when she had ran out of bacardi and coke. She would say this so the birthday guy Fred would fill her up. All she brought was 1 can of coke and made us all supply all the bacardi.
NIGNOG WOMAN: Me ran out of bacardi and coke mon. FREED!
A place two streets down where Pork Scotch's cones are hidden from him. This lorry never seems to move and neither does the stolen cone.
PORK SCOTCH: Where's my cone? I bet a bloody nigger's stolen it. Wait. What's that on the back of the Maltby Lorry? It's my cone! Who put it there?
Twin brother of the marvellous Maltby Lorry that hides Pork Scotch's Cone from the ugly old Bastard. This specimen is a lot cleaner than it's brother Maltby.L unexpectedly because the Van lives in Mansfield.
Hey doesn't that van say Maltby on the side?
Yeah didn't you hear? Maltby lorry has a twin brother called Maltby Van
A place many feel sorry for because it repeatedly gets filled with Hill Biscuits by Hooligans. These Hooligans also tend to dump on the shitty Hill Biscuits and not flush.
DAD: What have you been doing lately?
MONK: Well, there were too many Hill Biscuits in the SNUF Bag so I bogged em in the Asda toilets and shat on em.