A disgusting old hag with hairs growing out of the wrinkles on its liver spots. She is the mother Pork Scotch and even more scotchy than the Porky Scotcher himself. It is constantly driven around in the Scotchy Mother Wheelchair by Scotchman and Goofy Granny.
Monk: The chair's there! Is the Scotchy Mother here?
Mick: No. Porky just took it out of the half car while he was raising the back seat to make it a bed.
Formerly known as Millicent Road. Location of the Maltby Lorry and its building and new location of Pork Scotch's Cone and Nogtard's Bog. Home of the Heroes.
Monk: Shall we head to Maltby Road later to see the cone and bog later?
Mick: Yeah, lets leave a packet of Hill Gingers in the bog.
The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.
Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?
Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.
Maltby employees that aren't heroes. They lost the title "hero" by taking Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone out of the Maltby Lorry. They should be fired. You have to be a hero to work for Maltby.
Mick: LOOK!!! THE BOG'S GONE!!!!!
Monk: OH NO!!! It was obviously Maltby Misfits.
The most ridiculous solo in the guitar world. It was invented by Goosetard. It is just two frets, 10 and 12 on one string, 1st. The half Goose, half Retard can't do the solo without having a Goose Fit.
Wow!! That solo looks really difficult!!!
Yeah! 10 12! You know, it has 2 WHOLE FRETS!!!
Nogtard's most eaten Ice Cream. He buys it because it's shit, therefore cheap, so you get more for your money.
Dad: Eatin' ice cream then?
Nogtard: Yeah, it's vanilla. It tastes horrible but you get more.
A manly, wrinkly woman that is the 'girlfriend of Pork Scotch. She has rabbit teeth and is as ugly and manly as Pork Scotch himself. She has a spac grandson and wears old bagish clothes that shit stained schumachers would wear. By going out with her, this proves Pork Scotch's Homosexuality.
Ugghhh! Look, it's Pork Scotch's 'girlfriend'. I hate her! UGLY Bitch!!! Eating garlic bread at the green plastic table with Porky doing his famous drunken dance.