Stupid, idiotic morons who beleive they are supreme and that they can do anything they want. There are many ways to spot a Chav: 1. They walk like idiots listening to shit 'music'. 2. They have a thick, weird way of talking especially when they listen to shit R&B music. 3. They are ridiculously rude to people that they have no idea of how hard they are. Chavs are not good friends, they are Pricks and Twats.
Chavs: Fuck you, Fuck off! Oh I godda go watch da match man.
Me: Fuck off you stupid Chav
A grand item only obtainable by having an uncle Fred. SNUF stands for Special Needs Uncle Fred. It contains very nice foods such as bicuits, crisps, cake, and chocolate. Me and my dad recieve one every week from the legend known as SNUF. My gran (Fred´s sister) tells him he cant go spending all that money every week on me and my dad. Fred (also known as Willo) holds up a 20 pound note and says; its only two of these.
ME AND DAD(to my gran): A up Swytheerbridge, whats in the SNUF bags?
GRAN(Swyteerbridge): There´s some crisps, biscuits, cake, and chocolate.
A boring old man that has a shaved head where there is a bald spot at the top-back and the hair surrounding it is spirally. Pork Scotch is the name of the hairstyle but the bloke is called a Pork Scotch aswell.When the boring old bastard speaks to you, you feel suicidal with boredom. He wears a cowboy hat-shaped buffalo skin hat. He has terrible tast in clothing, he sits outside in the back garden and thinks its cool and fun to have a bbq evryday wearing a hawaiian-like shirt with horrible, boring shorts reading a paper with his wife that looks like a man in drag. Pork Scotch is also known as Mr Boring, Mr Ugly, and The Arsehole. His real name is Max (AKA Pork Scotch)
MONK: Look at The Arsehole. The clothes are terrible! Ugly, Ugly old bastard!
DAD: I know. Look, he´s sitting at the table in the garden with his back to us so we get a good view of the Pork Scotch
disrespectful old bastard with crumbs in its moustache regardless of whether its a man or woman. They are terrified of everything except for their wagon (because it only goes 0.5 mph) In conclussion, a disrespectful faggot god dodger that is as miserable as sin and looks like it has a cactus lodged up its arse.
teenager 1: (to teenager 2) Look, a Shit-stained schumacher, don't ask what its had for breakfast, she's still got a cheerio in her moustache.
A cone wrongly stolen by Pork Scotch that he once used to keep a space for his small white van outside his house while he went out in it because he thinks he is important because he's a security guard (EVEN more important than Shit Stained Schumachers you know). Because he had no right to do it, I moved it so that a car would park there. When he got back the look of shock on the ugly bastards face was phenomenal when he saw that a car had parked there. With a usual grumpy look on his face, he moved it onto the front of the house. He works from 6pm to 6am so at 10 we put it in a bin bag and took it onto another road an left it on the back of a Maltby lorry. In the morning, he was looking all over the place for his beloved cone with a mad look of disbelief. Looks like he'll never see his cone again. Poor Porky!
SWYTHEERBRIDGE: Whats that orange thing on the back of the Maltby lorry?
MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.
A name given to the husband of a housewife thats pissed off by the fact that her husband got a birthday card from his son and grandson but she only got one from the husbands son. She will walk up the husband in the kitchen and yell to him; SOMEONE´S BECOME A CARDAHOLIC!!!!
MY DAD: Here dad, A card from me and a card from Alex. And a card from me for you Thurza.
THURZA(to Grandad Peter): SOMEONE´S BECOME A CARDAHOLIC!!!!
Discusting Tartan Boxer shorts that smell like shit. The only reason anyone knows that he wears these is because he came out of the bathroom in the morning while I was witing for the toilet and he had nothing on besides these. He seemed very embarassed and ran as fast as the little man could. When I walked in I realised why he was embarassed and ran to his room. The toilet stank like the worst pile of shit ever created. I ran straight back out. I used a pint of Air freshener and could still smell it at the bottom of the stairs.
ME: You'll never guess what I just saw.
ME: Lets call them Pork Scotch pants. He came out of the bathroom and ran to his room wearing Tartan boxers. The bathroom stank!