5 definitions by Dr. Joe

Top Definition
Medical slang for a patient who "has lost--often through age--what goes into being a human being" (quote from Samuel Shem's "The House Of God"). Typically an old demented noncommunicative patient. Stands for "Get Out Of My Emergency Room".
I wish that gomer in room 3820 would stop moaning.
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004
A set of hospital rules/truths from Samuel Shem's book, "The House of God". I. Gomers don't die. II. Gomers go to ground. III. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse. IV. The patient is the one with the disease. V. Placement comes first. VI. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and a good strong arm. VII. Age + BUN = Lasix dose. VIII. They can always hurt you more. IX. The only good admission is a dead admission. X. If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever. XI. Show me a medical student who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet. XII. If the radiology resident and the medical student both see a lesion on the chest x-ray, there can be no lesion there. XIII. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible. See also: gomer.
I thought my internal medicine internship had gotten me depressed, but after reading the Laws of the House of God, I'm downright suicidal.
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004
The application of a pillow over the face of a particularly needy or annoying patient with enough force to occlude the airway, resulting in the patient's demise. See also: negative patient care outcome,bit the shit, and knock their dick in the dirt.
If that patient in room 3604 presses his call light one more time, nurse Heidi is going to ask her tech Kevin to apply pillow therapy.
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004
Stands for "little old lady in no apparent distress". An elderly female patient who has retained her mental faculties and who has nothing medically wrong with her. Different than a gomer.
We need to get that LOL in NAD out of the hospital before she gets sick.
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004
A slang medical term indicating that a patient's medical condition is rapidly worsening. See also: circling the drain.
I gotta run to room 3815--my patient is starting to crump!

That patient with the stroke is crumping--we better call the family!
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004

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