2 definitions by Dr. Clare Cunliffe

Top Definition
The SWIZZLECAP is a particular breed of male, usually but not necessarily a sports fan. The chief identifying mark is the baseball cap worn backwards or "swizzled" on the head at all times. The acute lack of fashion sense of the SWIZZLECAP leads to inappropriate head adornment at fine restaurants, funerals, weddings, bar mitzvahs and other formal occasions. Secondary SWIZZLECAP characteristics include a tendency toward pack animal behavior, generally questionable personal hygiene and a strong attraction to their vapid and bland female counterparts known as "SWIZZLESTICKS"
Let's avoid Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood tonight. There was a Cubs game and every bar will be full of SWIZZLECAPS.
by Dr. Clare Cunliffe January 01, 2006
Named for their association with their male counterpart the SWIZZLECAP, the SWIZZLESTICK is a common variety of female seen in trendy clubs, overpriced restaurants and suburban shopping malls worldwide. Instantly recognizable by her utterly conformist grooming habits, the early 21st century SWIZZLESTICK usually wears her straightened hair in a ponytail, dresses in non-threatening colors like beige and tan, and very possibly owns a pair of furry boots. Known for their exceptionally irritating voices, even a small gathering of SWIZZLESTICKS in a shop or restaurant can sometimes result in earaches, nausea and crippling migraines for bystanders within a 30 foot radius. Perhaps the most prized characteristic of SWIZZLESTICKS is how easily they can be replaced: if a SWIZZLECAP gets dumped by his SWIZZLESTICK girlfriend, he knows he need only visit his neighborhood sports bar to find an near-exact replica of her.
My last boyfriend wasn't interested in dating a woman with a brain or a real personality. After me, he hooked up with some SWIZZLESTICK.
by Dr. Clare Cunliffe January 01, 2006

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