Symptoms of the disease include a hunched back due to the spinal cord being replaced by a flaccid penis, and a protrusion that looks similar to an Adam's Apple, but is actually a penis growing in the throat.
If the infected person touches themselves on another part of their body after touching their infected genitalia, that part therefore becomes infected, causing a new penis to grow. Serious reported cases include a number of penises ranging from 3-5 on the infected person's body.
Size varies due to the amount of contact made to the infected area. Penis growth/size can range from 1 inch wonders to 13 inches in the largest reported case.
The only cure for Stanek's Disease is to have all of the penises surgically removed, but the disease cannot be fully eradicated. Removing the penises can sometimes cause 2 more to grow back in their place.
Stanek's Disease is a rapidly spreading epidemic. Please, if you think you may be infected, contact a doctor immediately.
Person 2: Shit, man, I don't want another dick!"
Person 1: Let's get the fuck outta here!"