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4 definitions by Dr Suffering

 
1.
Someone who spends a disturbingly long amount of time editing the site www.wikipedia.com, usually to protect pages they are interested in from vandalism and to keep them up to date.

This is usually done at the expense of other social activates like asking girls out, or talking to friends. And the seasoned wikipedian can often be seen fapping furiously after writing an article he considers to be particularly accurate.
Jenny: What do you do in your spare time?
Kearney: I'm a wikipedian, I recently corrected some glaring inaccuracies on the Captain Picard page!
Jenny: …okaaay *turns around*
by Dr Suffering October 15, 2006
 
2.
Aspergers is a difference in brain wiring. 99.8% of people have "typical" brain wiring, meaning they can communicate with eachother easily and fluently.

The other 0.2% of the population, the aspies, have subtle differences in their brains that stop them from reading and understanding the normal social cues that the other 99.8% of people use. For an aspie the circuits that deal with social interaction are scrambled. This leads to them being constantly misunderstood and eventually ostracised.

Aspergers is a living hell. It's like living in a bubble, and the cruelest part of all is that sufferers like me usually don't even realise what we're suffering from until long after its already ruined our childhoods.

There are upsides to the condition, the aspie will be highly talented at whatever they consider their "special subject". Sometimes it's something useful like computer programming, other times it's something not so useful like train spotting. If your special subject is something an employer would want, then having aspergers isn't that bad, but if no one wants your skill, you're fucked and will surely die poor and lonely.

The only cure for Aspergers would be for the 99.8% of normal people to learn about our condition and try to treat us more fairly. But this will never happen due to the extreme level of ignorance that goes hand in hand with being normal.
Look, that person has aspergers, let's treat him like shit.
by Dr Suffering August 27, 2013
 
3.
The BURNING sensation you will feel in your asshole approximately 7 hours after eating a KFC Zinger Meal, as you sit on the commode holding your ankles and screaming at passers by to "get Colonel Sanders".

Though a Zinger Meal doesn't taste particularly spicy going in, on it's way back out the other end it feels as though an army of hornets are raking hot coals around your ringpiece with a combine harvester.

It's like there's a party in your ass, and everyone's calling the Fire Brigade.
Dave: Why do you walk like that?
Eddy: I have Kentucky Fried Asshole
by Dr Suffering June 14, 2010
 
4.
Cardboard triangles with a heavy MSG coating.

Originally invented at Disney Land, all the sick, saw dust, brick dust, and other detritus was swept off the floor and dried into big crispy sheets. Then, triangle shapes were cut from these sheets and coated with orange dye and enough MSG to give a dead man brain damage.

There is no way to eat Doritos without the filth coming off all over your hands and mixing with your sweat to form a potently smelly and toxic industrial waste product that serves to emphasize the poor hygiene and self control of the consumer.
Every bag of Doritos takes a year off my life, but I can't stop eating them due to the fact they are 50% MSG.
by Dr Suffering October 08, 2014