The Guido is an entirely American phenomena, with its epicenter in the New York/ New Jersey metropolitan area. Although most of its examples are of Italian-American descent, manytimes other non-descript Caucasians will follow suit in an attempt to achieve an identity- in fact any identity. The Guido is highly recognizable by his attention to muscular development, status symbols, and regional dialect. Guidos are fortunate in that they usually tend to be loyal to their heritage and cultures. However, their interpretation of the Italian culture is unique to Americans. They fall sorrily short when attempting to emulate the sophistication of European-born men. In fact, their shortcomings include a tendency toward alcoholism, legal problems (usually related to assault, reckless driving, noise violations), and an inability to compete in legimate business. Fortunately for them, they usually live an exciting, care-free existance. They are easily satiated by tacky mall attire, drunken nights with similar-minded women, and nightclubbing in the lesser desired beach towns such as Seaside Heights, New Jersey. In the end, although they maintain a unique sense of identity and pride, their superficial lives often leave them empty. The tolls of excessive grooming products, STDs, and alcohol abuse age these specimens quite poorly. The time spent in fitness clubs is usually far offset by their lifestyle choices.
"Although he spends all his time in the gym and dancing in the clubs, that Guido will soon be a burned out alcoholic working a thankless job, living alone in his one-bedroom apartment in North Jersey"