1) You’ve actually managed to ‘finish the internet’, so that desperate for something to do you think ‘fuck it, I’ll go for a wank’
2) You’ve got a hangover which would maim an elephant. You’ve just taken a dump who’s splash back made New Orleans look like a puddle. You really can’t face the 15 second walk back to your desk…. So you think ‘fuck it, I’ll have a wank’. Oh, and The release of endorphins cure the headache.
Jesus if I sit here any longer listening to that useless cunt jabbering on her mobile I think I might break something.