Swancer swan·cer (swann-ser)
exactly like cancer but has a really stupid accent. Unlike cancer Swancer can be contracted just by sharing rooms with an idiot or by just being the cute innocent child of a smoking idiot.
At present we have only one known cure for swancer which is suicide. A new treatment involving ignorance is currently being investigated.
Poor Emma just shared a room with the guy and now she's dying of passive swancer.