You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in
Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the
heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer
than be seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel.
Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck
on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with
the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An
insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling,
giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what
they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you.
You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile,
worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth.
And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress
us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be
available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak
into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before
spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May
you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and
profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look
down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic,
starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that
you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than
that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite
of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious.
You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a
meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile
one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in
all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank
and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all
unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated
tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey
poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing
gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid
we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid.
Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have
collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity
stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one
second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has
to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this
is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure
essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws
of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid
for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have
enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments
about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most
of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt
at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together
a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later
in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have
more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people
take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes
forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things
more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never
read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a
handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social
struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist,
sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane,
arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial,
satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless,
illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious,
revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic,
idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive,
malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring,
plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive,
aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive,
abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
Warkind is rock-hard stupid.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.
Buy the mug