6 definitions by DeShawn Drib

Top Definition
The act of simultaneously wishing that the volume of your television was louder while hoping no one hears it.
Johnny was a volume schizo while watching Debbie Does Dallas with his parents in the next room.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005
Engaging in condomless sex.
In 1970's several now deceased male porn stars were going in live while acting in their respective films.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005
The semi-attractive girl that you're pretty sure you can take home but who you have met or have begun to conversate with too early in the evening. The proper handling of the bland safety is to break off conversation, go to a different part of the party or bar and try to find an upgrade. You must on a periodic basis do a walk by or otherwise an acknowledge her presence. If all else fails you need your bland safety and you know it.
The no-frills girl in appearance who is certainly several steps up from going solo. See most actresses who have between 1 and 3 lines in films.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005
The act of pondering which of your testicles was responsible for the creation of your child.
Johnny went through extensive testicular questioning wondering whether his right or his left testicle created Johnny Jr.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005
The act of acknowledging it is closer to closing time at the bar marking the offset of a search for a sexual partner at a lower level of attractiveness and who gives off the outward appearance of being easy. Usually simultaneous with intoxication.
At 2:45 a.m. Johnny was broadening and decided to roll the dice and began to talk to Big Bertha. After 5 minutes of conversation Bertha and her fish nets stockings were in the back seat of Johnny's convertible.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005
The amount of effort it takes for a single person to restrain a guy who is pretending like he desperately wants to kick someone else's ass while at a bar or when there are girls around.
The 112 pound girl exiting the bathroom put a weakhold on the macho man I just cut in the bathroom line.
by DeShawn Drib April 10, 2005

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