A Dick-Spatula is someone who wallows in there life's misfortunes and stupid choices and uses them as justification for being a self-righteous asshole. They usually glow a gnarly "woah is me" vibe and are terribly selfish and condescending by nature.
Joel: "I was trying to make guitar music with Zach again tonight."
GF: "How'd that go?"
Joel: "Once again he just got drunk to forget about his problems and just played whatever he wanted on guitar, loud and obnoxious, tempo-less, overdriven crap, never listening to me or the other guitar player once."
GF: "Hasn't he been doing that for years?"
Joel: "Yes, yes he has...I'm beginning to think he's a real Dick-Spatula."