CNN: It has been clarified by scientists that
the massive fireball
reported in the midwestern sky was just
Jessica Simpson on a manhunt. She emitted almost radioactive levels
of sexual napalm.
Dude 1: "Dude, I've been working out at the gym, taking Viagra, eating right; you know, like eating my veggies and stuff. But I still can't keep up with her.
Dude 2: "Dude, she must be like what you call
Dude 1: "Dude, I'm like gonna give her Tiger Woods' number"