1 definition by Darth Vidar

A man also known as the king of Evil, however it is clear that he is not fitting of this title. This title was given to him by the princess of Hyrule, Zelda due to racial slurs of the time.

In the land of Hyrule, Ganondorf hoped to bridge positve ties with that of his people, the Gerudos and that of the Hyrulians, however the rascist princess Zelda decided to send her mute and gullible lackey, Link to assasinate him because Ganondorf is black. After Link foolishly sealed himself in a time rift for seven years in an attempt to destroy Ganondorf, the seal to ultimate power, the Triforce, was destroyed. Believing this was the only was his people would be treated respectfully Ganondorf touched the Triforce and wished himself to become King of Hyrule.

Ganondorf reigned successfully for seven years. Using his position of power he exterminated the monster infestation in Hyrule field, eradicated an evil cult known as the Zorans (whom worshipped a giant whale that ate people), closed down a terrorist organisation known as the Gorons whom manufactured bombs and also poached endangered animals known as Dodongos to make fashionable bags, organised a defence force of friendly monsters to protect the orphaned children of the Kokiri forest (whom's guardian, the Deku Tree, had his heart impaled internally buy none other than Link), revived an extinct species of dragon and finally derived an alternate solution to exterminating the monsters of Hyrule by sealing them in a exclusive part of the Kakariko graveyard. However in the second year of his reign Ganondorf was forced to make one of the most difficult decisions of his career. His people, the Gerudos were constantly stealing from the frienly Hyrulians. Occasionally the Gerudos would also kidnap some of the Hyrulians demanding a high ransom for their safe return. Ganondorf to prevent further unwarranted attacks against the Hyrulians, destroyed the bridge separating Hyrule from the Gerudo Valley.

This decision took its toll on the heartbroken Ganondorf and consequently he fell into a sad state of depression. he converted a large amount of his tax funds into constructing and suspending a castle over a giant lake of lave, which symbolised the inner sorrow he felt for having to abandon his people for the good of his country. After entering the castle Ganondorf destroyed the bridge leading to it so that he would never again be called upon to make such a harsh decision. Ganondorf then spent his years of solitude learning to play the organ and he composed some of the finest music ever to come out of Hyrule.

However this peaceful reign was never meant to last as the rascist princess Zelda, immediately sent her lackey, Link, once again to assasinate Ganondorf after he broke free of his seven year seal. By creating disorder amongst the world and undoing most of the good caused by Ganondorf (including killing Ganondorf's resurrected dragon rendering the spcies extinct again), Link and Zelda managed to convince six others to help in their assasination attempt against Ganondorf. These six people mainly agreed for the sole reason that they were fed up with a Black person leading them and they became known as the Six Sages.

Ganondorf learnt of this assasination attempt against him and attempted to difuse the issue by restraining Zelda from using her arcane magic so that the two could talk about their issues. Ganondorf attempted to soothe Zelda's sheer hatred of him by playing some of his famous organ music. Link however, brainwashed by Zelda's preachings, rushed into Ganondorf's castle, via means of a magical bridge created by the Six Sages, rushed into the castle killing most of its occupants until he confronted Ganondorf. With no means to communicate with the brainwashed mute, Ganondorf was forced to resort to violence. Link and Ganondorf fought, however Ganondorf being a peaceful man knew little about fighting (he only knew about three attacks!) was quickly overcome by the battle hardened and corrupted Link. Knowing he was about to die, Ganondorf decided his last act as king would be to destroy the clearly evil princess Zelda and her brainwashed lackey and thus he attempted to destroy his beloved castle in an attempt to crush the pair. However due to sheer brute force through the desecration of the remainder of the castle's occupants, Link and Zelda escaped the crumbling castle.

In a final, last ditch effort to rid the world of evil, Ganondorf forsake his humanity and called upon the gods to grant him strength and Ganondorf transformed into a monstrous form known as Ganon. However this form was still powerless against the crazed maniac Link and his artillery of weapons. With the assistance of Zelda and her kamehameha technique, Link sent Ganondorf to a realm without time and under Zelda's rule, Hyrule became a desolate and barren wasteland of a country.
That Ganondorf was a great leader and all. We snuffed him coz he be Black.
by Darth Vidar August 31, 2008

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