Foolish popular belief is that this kid is from Brasil and really good at football.
The truth is that he is an alien who has visited Earth, liked the concept of a game of football and has decided to stick around. His skills are quite obviously not of this world. Makes mockery of defenders. Pulls of tricks nobody even thought of, let alone used on a football pitch. The most naturally gifted player of current football era.
You know that Ronaldinho's goal that put England out, that everyone thinks he didn't mean it?
Oh, he meant it.
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