A Dalmatian Octopus is when you put Craig Ferguson's face in between the large breasts of a woman with chest hair. The Hair should be long enough, to resemble the tentacles of an octopus. If not, and the woman just has stubble, this is referred to as dalmatian calamari. The hair from the lady's chest then rubs and sticks to your face. Leaving you with Dalmation Octopus beard.
A:Woah! Did you see that lady Dalmation Octopus Craig Ferguson in Intercourse, Pennsylvania?
B: Yeah man! And Geoff Peterson totally was hit with that Dalmation Calamari from that Amish lady!
C: Ass Mode!