5 definitions by Daddy Ruxpin

Top Definition
A simpler and more familiar way of saying "prostitutes" for those with a great deal of experience and familiarity on the subject. Especially used by U.S. Marines serving on the island of Okinawa, Japan.
What did you do this weekend?" "Oh, you know - drank a few beers, got a few tutes.
by Daddy Ruxpin November 08, 2010
There are several definitions floating around out there - but this is an original scenario and should be considered an authentic Cactus Jack henceforth -
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
When Casey was doing infantry training out in the desert, I heard he got lonely in his fighting hole and made himself up a nice little Cactus Jack for company.
by Daddy Ruxpin November 08, 2010
A quadriplegic prostitute, missing both arms and both legs, usually confined to a wheelchair.
Escort Sevice: "What services will you require this evening?"

John:"Have you got any blonde quadritutes?"
by Daddy Ruxpin November 10, 2010
A disgusting pig of a woman with a loud mouth and fat ass. Good for one thing only, and usually not even really good for that. A girl you would pretty much rather pull your toenails out instead of fucking her.
Nikki is a stupid, ugly bitch. No, she is much worse than that, she is an absolute scuzzhog and I wouldn't fuck her with your dick."
by Daddy Ruxpin November 08, 2010
The act of having sex high up in the branches of a tree.
I couldnt get Emily back to my dorm lastnight, but we stopped in the park and I gave her the ole lumberjack slam.
by Daddy Ruxpin November 08, 2010

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