Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
person1: hey u wanna know the creation of a pussy
person1: (reads it out)
person2: lol true
HOW THEY HAVE SEXmore...
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
C'Bers do it on the air.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS d...
looks like a sad face drawn on a scrotum (also see my def of government
gordon brown is ugly and can't run our country right :p
everyone elses mum but yours
person1: your mums a milf
person2: no she isn't, but your mum's a milf
person1: u sick bastard u think my mums a milf!
person2: u sick bastard u think my mums a milf!!
a great sport all in all, requires an unbeliveable amount of precision and skill, takes so much practice as most people will appreciate, milimeters off perfect strike and it's a shit shot, that is why golf is payed huge amounts in professional tournaments.
the fitness side of things is amazing most golfers are extremely athletic, aswell as walking a course which is about 4-5 miles long. it is a game 4 the fit!
golf seems the easyist thing 2 play in the world when u r playin well, and can also seems the hardest game in the worl when u r playin shit
1.You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
person1: do u know why sex is like bikes
person1: once u learn u never forget how to do it
person2: haha ye
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
person1: have a look at these SAFE SEX TIPS there mint
person2: (reads it)
person2: cool lol