6 definitions by Crispin Whattley

Top Definition
To be drunk beyond the point of even drunken rationality, one actually believes that inducing more alcohol will make them feel better
I got totally wankered last night and threw up over my brown brogues
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
What one may call someone who is particularly white and stupid for instance the moon when asked for directions - originated from BBC 3 comedy The Mighty Boosh
Ok i took a chance, how was i supposed to know he was an Alabaster Retard
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
Being drunk to the point of surpassing any other term of being innebriated.
I was gonna sleep with Barry tonight but he was too wangered, he couldn't even get it up
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
When one sits too far back on the toilet therefore leaving a small lick of poo on the back of the seat
I had to wipe off a monkey tail at the police headquarters yesterday morning
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
Leaning so far off the toilet so as to require the use of one's arm as a supporting mechanism, usually on 2 fingers in a V shape as an american football player would, invariably leaving a snail trail on the inner front of the toilet
In order to avoid splash back from his deposit he adopted the quarter back position
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
A detrimental comment usually alikened to calling someone a penis. Used in a few rare films with great hilarity
Gerry you Peckerwood that's a crocodile not an alligator.
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005

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