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10 definitions by Cranky Neighbor

 
1.
n. Unskilled player in an online war game, such as Modern Warfare 2, who devotes endless effort to bitching, whining and obscene trash talking, while getting killed over and over.

These players tend to complain that everyone on the other team (or everyone else in a free-for-all) is either a "noob tuber" or "camper." Often guilty of being a team killer, due to anger management issues. Generally leaves the game in a rage quit.
You ****ing noobs; you're all f*gs; I ****ed your mom! (Dies.)

Ha ha. Ladies, this kid is a Full Metal Wanker. (Mutes player.)
by Cranky Neighbor August 04, 2010
 
2.
n. A male patient who is turned into a hand puppet during a hernia exam when his doctor crams his or her hand all the way up inside, totally inverting the scrotum.
Why are you limping?

I went to my doctor on account of mild abdominal pain and he turned me into a hernia hand puppet.
by Cranky Neighbor July 27, 2010
 
3.
n. A condition of emotional distress experienced by a heterosexual male who has been admiring a woman's figure from behind, on discovering that she is actually a dude.
Oh my God. That... is... a... guy.

Buddy, sit down. You're going into rearview shock!
by Cranky Neighbor August 04, 2010
 
4.
1 n. A painful spasm experienced in the muscles of the fingers, hand or forearm, while writing with a pen or pencil.

2 n. A severe contraction of funds in a writer's bank account, caused by an unreliable source of income.
I was signing cheques last night for all my bills and got a terrible writer's cramp.

All my cheques came back NSF. I guess my account has writer's cramp.
by Cranky Neighbor August 05, 2010
 
5.
n. A generous gratuity left by a customer in a restaurant, prompted by the waiter or waitress flirting outrageously. This may include social engineering tactics such as holding eye contact, smiling with teeth showing and touching the customer's arm.

In the case of a waitress and a male customer, for instance, the rule of thumb is: the higher on the arm the touch occurs and the firmer the pressure, the larger the flirtip will be. A casual brush of the customer's hand may generate a small flirtip, while a firm grasp of the upper arm can result in absurdly grandiose returns.
You're leaving a hundred bucks on a fifty dollar meal? Don't you think you're overdoing the flirtip?
by Cranky Neighbor July 15, 2010
 
6.
1. v. To save the content of an instant messaging chat and forward it to management, betraying a co-worker.

2. n. One who betrays a co-worker thus.
Hey, where you going with your stuff?

Home. I was flirting with Shawna in Messenger and HR got hold of it.

Did she chat rat you?

Yep. She's a total chat rat.
by Cranky Neighbor July 20, 2010
 
7.
n. The smiling, standing coma most adults enter as an enthusiastic ten year old describes his exploits in a video game.
Uh, better get Justin away from Grandma. He's been telling her about Modern Warfare 2 for fifteen minutes and she's gone into a state of game-olepsy.
by Cranky Neighbor July 16, 2010