1.To stay home on a friday night and eat a gallon of ice
cream by oneself, while simultaneously crying and watching romantic comedies.
Guy: "Dude, John is really depressed."
Guy 2: "He seems fine."
guy: "Not at all man. I heard he's been fat chicking it for 3 weeks straight."
Guy 2: "Holy shit."
First conceived by the Renaissance painter and philanthropist Dylan L'Goulange, a wet Dylan begins when someone eats a large, predominately corn-filled burrito. After consuming the burrito, the "Dylan" must approach an elderly stranger on the street, preferably one with disabilities. After convincing the stranger to lay on their back by promising them free hard candy, the Dylan must insert a funnel into the victims mouth. The assailant should then tear a hole in the back of their pants and sit on the funnel, whilst screaming "Wu Tang Clan" aint nuthin to fuck wit", and begin releasing explosive diarrhea into the victims mouth. The elderly victim must then be helped to their feet and promptly punched in the stomach until they release the diarrhea.
The victim should then be invited to Applebees© for a reasonably priced meal, and then dickslapped by a group of homeless men drinking Mad Dog 20/20 Electric Melon flavor.
Guy: "Did you hear what happened to Scott's Grandma?"
Other Guy: "No, but I heard she went to Applebees the other day, so she can't be doing that bad."
Guy: "She got Wet Dylaned man, the Applebees part was just so she could get dickslapped by a bunch of homeless guys."
Other Guy: "At least she got an affordably priced, fresh and delicious meal out of it."
Guy: "Are you fucking serious? She got diarrhea raped and dickslapped by a bunch of homeless guys."
Other Guy: "Yeah but, Applebees has such wonderful appetizers and their burgers are delicious."
Music that is considered terrible in everyday listening, but when played in a car suddenly becomes insanely good.
Guy 1: "Bill is such a faggot, he listens to techno."
Guy 2: "Dont knock Bill for that."
Guy 1: "Why the fuck not. Techno is gay shit."
Guy 2: "Dude, he only listens to techno as crusic."
Guy 1: "Oh, sick. Yea I listen to emo as crusic."
Guy 2: "Thats not crusic. Thats just gay."