The religion 'a' was formed by a group of moronic 12 year olds in the year 2003. Followers worship the letter 'a' and think that God is the image of giant smiling letter a with pigtails and a crown. The followers are led by the 'Pope of a,' who is a mystical figure, suspected to have died of a ruptured spleen in late 2005.
The paramilitary wing of the religion (the crusaders of cheerfulness) is led by Sergeant Smiley, one of the world's most wanted criminals. Despite not having any bodily features aside from a large round hairless face, he has killed over 2000 supporters of the rivalling religion b, with the help of his comrades.
Guy: Do you believe in God then?
Dumb guy: Yeah, God is the letter a.
Guy: What the fuck?
Dumb guy: Yeah, I'm a member of the a religion.
Guy: You dumb shit.
Mullet b is the supposed 'God' of the religion b, a satanic cult deriving from a maths text book 4 years ago. Mullet b is rumoured to be in possession of the WORLD'S WORST MULLET, but it has never been photographed. An artist's impression of said mullet once sadly killed 7 japanese tourists off the coast of Bognor Regis.
Guy: OH MY GOD THAT MULLET IS TERRIBLE!!! *dies*
Mullet b: Now that's mullet power.