- noun, plural -gars, (especially collectively), -gar
1. The single most terrifying creature ever to exist.
2.Created in a Iowa State University laboratory, bio engineered to depopulate deer from corn fields, the corn cougar has been the cause of several children's death since being released into the wild.
3. A sexually active (50-63 year old) woman who stalks the rows in search of youthful field workers.
News anchor: We'll take you to Ottumwa, Iowa now, where a corn cougar carrying around the intestines of a 5-year-old Ottumwan girl was shot dead in a field this afternoon. We go to Tom for more. Tom?
Tom: This is no aroused housewife with a sweat fetish, folks. The beast of all beasts has struck again.
Gardangit, all this corn pluckin' makes me horny. You seen any corn cougars aroun' here, Chuck?