A corruption of "I've never heard of anything more ridiculous in all my life. Swap the "life" and the "dic" and you get:
"I've never heard anything more ri-life-ulous in all my dick!"
A most unwelcome honour, a member of the Suede Patch Club is a bloke who has not had sex for so long, his gigantic balls need a suede patch sewn on to the underside to protect them from rubbing on the ground.
Hey man, how's it going, still in the Suede Patch Club?
1. A piss-funny
movie that still defines every actor who was in it almost a decade later ("hey, it's that dude/chick out of 'American Pie'"), and gave the world Steve Stifler
, the man every guy wanted to be, and every girl wanted to be with.
2. American Pie, the song, is a cultural atrocity from one-hit-wonder Don McLean
. The reason this song is so popular is a mystery. It's one of those indulgent, over-long, over-blown, pompous efforts that says more about the singer than the object of the song. Too complex for its own good (there are a million interpretations of the lyrics), yet contains some apparently random passages which seem to have been selected just to make a rhyme. A birthday-and-wedding staple in Australia, it contains enough references to booze and Chevys to make it popular with the younger crowd even almost 40 years later. It usually comes on near the end of the night and when it does, you're supposed to stand in a circle, put your arms around each other's shoulders and sway as though you're taking part in some sort of special experience (see also Dancing Queen
, The Gambler
and Khe Sanh
). Personally, I only like it because it gives me 8 minutes to go...
I take no responsibility for this one. We had a 16 year old work-experience kid with us last week who was grossed out by an abscess. He disappeared out the back saying:
"I've gotta get some fresh air, I feel like I'm gonna ranch everywhere"
More specifically "having a Barry", and it is one of the better examples of twice-removed Australian rhyming slang.
It means you're having a bad time of things, or a shocker. The connection is Barry Crocker, an extremely naff singer from Geelong, Australia (my home town - carn the Cats!) who sang the original theme song to Neighbours and is usually seen these days singing at telethons or Carols by Candlelight or other such horseshit.
In a nutshell, shocker = Barry Crocker = Barry.
Most often used in a sporting sense, when someone asks how you performed.
PS for the Seppos out there, Neighbours is a cheap and nasty Aussie soap opera that the Brits can't get enough of. BTW, "Seppo" is another example of Aussie rhyming slang, meaning American (Yank = septic tank = seppo)
When your leggies are disappearing for 9 an over, or you've kicked 4 behinds and 2 out-on-the-full for the day, or your pitching's been racked for 3 homers in 1 innings(if you're a Seppo), mate, you are having an absolute Barry.
Fucking disgraceful TV show about three supposed "witches" who are so fucking stupid that every episode is about one of them going out with a guy who *SURPRISE* turns out to be a demon! These three bitchy mole
s make sure the whole hour is filled to the gills with the same smart-mouthed, machine-gun dialogue that makes watching this and the Gilmore Girls
about as much fun as sticking your chap in the toaster.
The appeal to teenage girls is therefore obvious, but this show strangely attracts a male audience who think that putting up with an hour of this shit every week is worth it because they're "hot". Guys, did you know that you can get movies with better looking chicks who, when they open their mouths, it ain't to talk?
Every thumbs down here is just one more more moronic skank in the world. So come on, let's see how many of you are willing to put your hands up and say "I'm a Charmed-watching dickhead
Hey George, here's your real axis of Evil: Charmed, Smallville and the Gilmore Girls.
Just about the worst show ever made, along with Charmed
and the Gilmore Girls
. The idea that this girly-lipped, staring poof
could ever be the future Man of Steel is bad enough, let alone using the Superman story to make a fucking soap opera for teenagers.
Bring on your thumbs downs, you clueless 14 year old slurries!
Simpsons Comic Book Guy: Smallville? Worst...show...EVERRRR!