Releasing a torrent of diarrhea while pressing ham against a window, car, police officer*, etc.
*Ham explosions on police officers are strongly discouraged.
"Look, Gladys! Those jerk neighborhood kids are pressing ham against our picture window again. Oh, goodness! Ham explosion!"
A man lies naked and spread eagled on a picnic blanket. A picnic basket with a hole cut out of the bottom is placed over his face. This should be a snug fit. His partner then proceeds to lift the lid and crap into the basket over his face, while throwing uncooked bacon at his erection, strip by strip.
Melissa planned a romantic, indoor picnic for our anniversary. I was even more surprised when she offered me a Hot German Potato Salad. Now I get all hot when I see bacon!