The "crunkest" city east of the mississippi. Home to the world famous Dole mansion, summer home of Bobby Banana
. Originally the leader of ice exports to near-by Chicago, the quiet birthplace of some Styx
members, has now swelled to a population of about 50 thousand. The govenment flawed, the school system is surprisingly above average, churning out State Pom titles like so many ice blocks of yesteryear
. Having every chain store known to Illinois, the city has become quite the commercial hub for the Northwestern Chicagoland area. And in the process quietly annexing surrounding wealthy
townships with all the ferocity of a hungry hungry hippo. The discoverer, Ziba Beardsley, was quoted as saying, "My parents have given me quite a terrible moniker
," and "This lake is as clear as crystal"
Chip: "I heard Crystal Lake Pickling and Canning Company once owned a dilly of a pickle factory in the downtown district of our fair city"
Danny: "Yeah, they closed it down because your mom is such a bitch"
Chip: "good call by the chamber of commerce, they really are true Captains of Industry"
Danny: "Now only if they would do something about that hippie/mexican problem"
Chip: "Story of my life."
Danny: "lets go get stuck in traffic"
Chip: "thats easy to do, lets take any street at any time of the day"
Danny: "cute shoes, I love Crystal Lake"