Most people who exist in "Canada" are not actually Canadian. They are either first or second generation emigrants from backward countries like India, China, or France. Also, this portion of Canadians also includes the Canadian Nouveau Riche, a boom created by the growth of the Canadian dollar due to suspect government policy. In either case, they share many of the same characteristics.
1. A complete blindness to the existence of any human existence, need, emotion, or being outside of their own.
2. A massive desire to litter foreign countries.
3. A desire to smoke all the worlds pot.
4. They are drunk. Always. Even Tim Hortons coffee makes them drunk beyond the legal driving limit.
5. A fascination with all apparel made of denim.
6. Inability to procreate.
7. They think "Ed Hardy" apparel is actually fashionable.
8. Inability to operate a motor vehicle in way that is predictable to drivers around them.
9. Pathological desire to cheat their government out of the taxes due to them when the shop outside of their own country. This desire is so strong they will even attempt to enlist the help of residents of another country in their crime, in spite of the peril this may put that person in.
10. The men dress like women.
11. The women dress like they're from New Jersey (a highly uncouth part of the United State of America)
12. The children do not have parents; instead they have government assigned adoptive "buddies"
Example 1 -
Citizen 1: Hey...do you think they're Canadian?
Citizen 2: Umm...they're dressed in Ed Hardy, they just tossed all their trash out the window of the car, and they ran over a nun because they missed their turn to get back home. Yeah...pretty sure they're Canadian.
Example 2 -
Citizen 1: I met a Canadian the other day.
Citizen 2: Yeah? Was he nice?
Citizen 1: Yes. But...he wore tight slacks, and his white belt matched his white shoes. Then, he invited me to "have a smoke" and fly to the Jamaica with him. Seemed nice until he tried to touch my junk...
Citizen 2: Yeah...they're always nice until they try to fuck you.
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