3 definitions by Casey Johns

Top Definition
"Monties" are the Glands of Montgomery, sometimes called Montgomery Glands. They are sebaceous glands in the areola of the human nipple. During during breast feeding, these glands make oily secretions (lipoid fluid) to keep the areola and the nipple lubricated and protected from irritation caused by the baby's suckling. Hence, these glands are particularly prominent in women.

Since the Montgomery glands are more visible in women, they are commonly regarded to be a secondary sex characteristic, by men. (Yeah!) The Montgomery glands are not always visible, even in women. In some women, the Montgomery glands become raised when the nipple is sexually stimulated, similar to goose bumps on cold skin. In other women, the pigmentation of the Montgomery glands makes them more visible, at all times. Usually, pregnancy and breast feeding will make a woman's Montgomery glands more prominent. Hence, some men regard these glands instinctively as an attractive sign of fertility.

They are named after Dr. William Fetherstone Montgomery , the Irish obstetrician who first described them, in the olden days, 1797-1859. Yeah, Monty! (They let guys look at a lot of weird stuff, in the olden days, didn't they, Dad?)
"That girl's ex says she's got nubbly dark monties all over her chocolate brown areolae. When she's really hot, her monties perk up like goosebumps, makin' her look like she's really cold... weird..."

"Since my girl's been breast feeding her baby, her pink areolae got lots bigger and redder, with perky red monties all over them"

"My girl's got light brown puffy nipples, but her monties are real dark, like freckles. I like 'em that way, but she is like real embarressed and thinks that somethun is wrong with 'em... go figger..."

"My ex had permanently puffy nips, but always smooth as butter... no monties at all..."
by Casey Johns November 13, 2007
1. a woman's breasts, of any size or shape. Usually, a tactful compliment, a term of praise, approval, or admiration.
2. a woman's breasts, of any size, that have close to a perfectly symmetrical appearance, while hidden under clothing. Often, an illusion created by the dress designer's art.
3. Ideally, breasts that are almost exact mirror images of each other, even when bared, and deprived of any support from undergarments. Sometimes also called 'identical twins' (cf. fraternal twins)
"Gail's twin girls are so cute!"
"Whadaya' mean? I thought she only had two children, a boy and a girl."
"Hey, dufus, I'm talking about the twins with whom she is inseparable!"
"Oh... duh... I getcha! They ARE cute!"
"I like it when she brings her twin girls to work." (LOL)
"Duh... How could she not?"

"Our waitress is drivin' me crazy."
"What's the deal?"
"Her twin girls are flirtin' with me!"
"Uh... yeah... I noticed that. Some kind of montease."
"Yep, they're dancin', too... in a very subtle but seductive rhythm."
"Ummm, yes... swing and sway"
"Jiggly too!"
"This restaurant has great service, don't you think?" (LOL)
"The food is not bad, either."

"I once I had a 43 year old girlfriend whose twin girls were still virgins."
"You're makin' that up... you mean... they never?"
"Nope... neither she nor her husband ever even heard of it. She didn't think it was possible... but was ever so grateful, once I convinced her to try it. She was a rare case, absolutely nipplegasmic."
"Well, how did you convince her?"
"I sent her to the online Wiki Pedia, to look up 'mammary intercourse' "
"No foolin'! Wiki Pedia has an article on that? And that's the title?"
"Yep! Technically accurate and clinically dispassionate, as always. And that's just what the learned professors call it-- 'mammary intercourse'."

"My wife's girls are twins, identical twins."
"Wow... cool... THAT I'd like to see... identical twin girls!"
"Careful, friend... her twins do not perform in public."
"OK... I'll take your word for it. ...don't need to see 'em to believe 'em!"
by Casey Johns February 03, 2009
(noun) The act of humming while performing cunnilingus, for the specific purpose of enhancing one's partner's pleasure. The "humming" could literally be an audible humming sound created with the vocal tract, or alternatively, only a figure of speech, used to describe any number of techniques for causing the mouth, tongue, cheeks, or other parts of the face to rapidly oscillate or vibrate.

Origin: Probably a portmanteau of the verb to hum and the noun cunnilingus. Of uncertain date of origin, but frequently used within the last five years on the internet by some of the reclusive writers who post at forums where extramarital affairs are discussed. Also seen at completely different forums, where perplexed schoolteachers ponder the meaning of recently coined words, used by their students. (In this case, UrbanDictionary.com provides a valuable public service to educational professionals!)
postings by schoolteachers, probably wondering about the meaning of various alternative spellings of hummugus, humongous, or humungous, at forum --
Original Post (OP) ...My favorite student mistake so far-
A girl wrote a sentence with the word 'hummnungus.' Just as gaint means giant, I think the first word is humungous, but you can never tell with kids.
Posted by G at September 25, 2004 07:27 PM
Comments to OP--
The word of the year is "GINORMOUS". A mixture of "giant" and "enormous" that seems to be permeating my household of late. I thought after junior high they stop making up their own words. I was wrong.
Posted by: pua at September 26, 2004 04:49 PM
"Hummunungus" sounds like something boy hummingbirds would do to girl hummingbirds. But I didn't say that out loud.
Posted by: PatCH at September 27, 2004 03:08 AM
Posted by: palochi at September 27, 2004 02:21 PM

Posted to an internet forum for discussing extramarital affairs, the Philanderers Forum, found at http://www.privateaffairs.com/PForum2/ and associated with http://philanderers.com/
OP (original poster): "my last MM (boyfriend who was a married man) had a delightful way of eating pussy. "
Her girlfriend and confidant: "What, may I ask, did this accomplished pussy eater manage to do, to be so thrilling to your jaded libido?"
OP: "ummmmm... he hummed."
Confidant: "He did what? He hummed a tune?"
OP: "Not exactly. It's hard to describe. I am not sure if it was humming. Whatever it was, he made his mouth vibrate, giving my clit the most subtle but intense sensations. It was almost too intense. At first, I did not like it. But he seemed to be able to tell how much I could stand, by listening to me moan. So, if I would relax and sing out to him, he could fly me up to altitude faster than a pocket rocket. I was very sorry to see him go back to his wife."
Lurking participant, chiming in: "Wow! Sounds like he was givin' you hummilingus!"
OP: "Hummilingus? How apropos! He not only hummed like a Hummingbird, but like a thirsty little bird, was eager to lap up all of my nectar, too"
Confidant: " The humming-bird? Mon dieu! Le colibri de Montréal Club Super Sex!"
Lurking participant, again: "Careful, you can't believe everything you read in this forum... could be tongue-in-cheek... or on the other hand, literally, TONGUE!"
by Casey Johns February 26, 2009
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