8 definitions by Carson Myers

Top Definition
The state of mind that a wife-beater or otherwise angry male house inhabitant tends to dwell in. This state of mind often takes physical forms outside of a simple mentality. When one is in said state, a fury of bitch slaps and most often angry demanding remarks are hellishly unleashed onto ones life partner. Phrases such as "DON'T YOU SPEAK WOMAN!", "SHUT UP AND GET ME A BEER!", or, more commonly, "MAKE ME A SAMMICH BITCH!" are shouted at said life partner. Users of the MMASBM can commonly be described as fat, sweaty with the distinct stench of beer, stale cigarettes, and microwaveable dinners. Sometimes heavy Texan or otherwise bumfuck amuurhican accents are attributed to such individuals. Although the "Make Me a Sammich Bitch" mentality is a common and natural male process, it is frowned upon in most northern states and all of Canada. In today's world, it is not recommended for use, as the female component of the mentality may end up with 50% of your life, and both testicles.
guy 1: "so I heard Cletus has been in a make me a sammich bitch mentality lately"
guy 2: "yeah he threw his beer at his woman and told her to make him a sammich"
guy 1: "she must have been giving him lip"
by Carson Myers March 02, 2007
Three or more people in the same bed, all of whom are not wearing any socks.
"MAN! I was totally in an orgy last night!"
"NO WAY! Did you get laid again and again!?"
"Nope, but my feet sure were cold..."
by Carson Myers September 13, 2007
The Rule of Buffalo:
Drinking Game.

note: The individuals who have had the rule of buffalo invoked upon them will henceforth be known as "victims".

The rule of buffalo is indeed an epic one. It can be explained quite simply: Devastation. However, the more thorough version of the explanation is quite a bit more than one word. The rule is generally decided upon at the beginning of the party, as inflicting it upon an already intoxicated crowd can lead to denial of buffalo (for the uninformed) and staggering confusion and fear. Once it has been put into effect, the rule of buffalo is to be noted as in effect for the rest of the night, and to be repealed once the party is generally thought to be "finished", being when everyone goes to bed, or when everyone wakes up in a naked heap with no prior recollection. The rule is wholly binding, in that once initiated, the rule encompasses all members of the party, and makes no personal exceptions. The game starts with a simple drunken mistake: The victim drinks, picks up, or otherwise holds their intoxicating beverage with their dominant hand. This means the right hand for right handed people, and the left hand for left handed people. Make sure it is understood which you are. If a partier or otherwise curious onlooker happens to notice this tragic mistake (often of god like proportions), they may invoke the rule. The rule is brought fourth by speaking "Buffalo" in a widely audible tone, and in some way making it known who the rule has been invoked upon. Once it is made known to the victim that they are under obligation of the rule, the victim must indeed consume. The beverage is to be immediately "polished off", at a rate almost equal to that of a fire hose, without any objection or otherwise bitchy comebacks to the rule. After the drink has been consumed, the victim can usually be expected to voice utterances such as "Fuuuuck", "I'm sooo drunk", "I'm gonna puke", "Fuck you asshole", or "I'll get you back". It can sometimes be a fun and unexpected idea to invoke the rule whilst a victim is utilizing a non-alcoholic beverage in their dominant hand- this can save money on property damage and trips to the hospital due to the fact that the already smashed participants in the game will be able to pace.

Now I know what your thinking- there is an almost stupidly obvious flaw to the game. As the night progresses, the ability to make a conscious effort to contain one's beverage in their recessive appendage becomes severely limited. This is true- and because of this, the rule of buffalo can and will demolish even the heaviest of heavyweights. This fact will also lead most victims to the conclusion that the rule is a spiteful game, designed to create embarrasing stories of drunken shenanigans or seemingly endless ponds, rivers and lakes of vomit. Invoking the rule of buffalo is generally taken like a punch in the teeth. Because of the powerful nature of the game people have been known to "buffalo crash" parties. This is to commute to a party with intentions of introducing the rule, and causing the party to end significantly earlier than expected, owing to the sudden and devastating total inebriation of all in attendance.

Limitations of the rule: The rule of buffalo does not apply to holders of hard liquor in its original vessel. Flash consumption of deadly volumes of ethanol is indeed a terrible idea. The drink-in-hand must also be for strict drinking purposes, thus those who are mixing, bartending or holding a drink for a pal are not obligated to drink.
victim: "I'm just going to pour myself another tasty beverage, one of an alcoholic and intoxicating nature. I just hope I don't bring the Rule of Buffalo upon myself!" *picks up drink in dominant hand*

curious onlooker: "buffalo!"

victim: *consumes at mind numbing rates* "uughh blehh I'm gonna puke... you asshole... that's *gag* the fifth time... I'll totally get you back..." *falls unconscious*
by Carson Myers August 13, 2007
The state of mind that a wife-beater or otherwise angry male house inhabitant tends to dwell in. This state of mind often takes physical forms outside of a simple mentality. When one is in said state, a fury of bitch slaps and most often angry demanding remarks are hellishly unleashed onto ones life partner. Phrases such as "DON'T YOU SPEAK WOMAN!", "SHUT UP AND GET ME A BEER!", or, more commonly, "MAKE ME A SAMMICH BITCH!" are shouted at said life partner. Users of the MMASBM can commonly be described as fat, sweaty with the distinct stench of beer, stale cigarettes, and microwaveable dinners. Sometimes heavy Texan or otherwise bumfuck amuurhican state accents are attributed to such individuals. Although the "Make Me a Sammich Bitch" mentality is a common and natural male process, it is frowned upon in most northern states and all of Canada. In today's world, it is not recommended for use, as the female component of the mentality may end up with 50% of your life, and both testicles.
guy 1: "so I heard Cletus has been in a make me a sammich mentality lately"
guy 2: "yeah he threw his beer at his woman and told her to make him a sammich"
guy 1: "she must have been giving him lip"
by Carson Myers February 22, 2007
Noobioes - similar to Cheerioes (but really quite the opposite), is commonly referred to as "The Breakfast of Champions". Noobioes is made mainly of Noobs, in fact, any impurities in Noobioes is frowned upon in the elite community. Noobioes (when in its purest form) consists entirely of ground noob, purified finely in the Grinder, and shaped into small 'O' shaped cereal (Also check out AlphaNoobs in the breakfast aisle - noobioes in the shape of the alphabet! The breakfast of champions in training!). Noobioes should be consumed before gaming, hacking, modding, or anytime the craving of billions of noobs all in one bowl is had.
"Aww dude I'm getting owned today!"
"I'm not, I had my fill of Noobioes, The Breakfast Of Champions, this morning"
"Shit man, I'm fresh out of noobioes... got some AlphaNoobs, The Breakfast Of Champions In Training, though!"
by Carson Myers July 02, 2007
"I Eat Noobs Like You For Breakfast"
This abbreviation or phrase, newly coined by myself, can have both sarcastic and literal meaning. It can be used in its sarcastic form as an insult, or in it's literal form to formally state one's unusual eating habits.
Eating a Noob for breakfast:
Noobs are most commonly consumed in the form of Noobioes- freshly produced in the Grinder.
"I pwn h4x!"
"IENLYFB!"
"oh noes!"

"I pwn h4x!"
"IENLYFB! *throws in grinder*"
by Carson Myers July 02, 2007
The Grinder- First discovered on a Doom 3 demo, is the god of all grinding machines. It is basically a cylindrical pit with a catwalk just overtop of it. Only half of the pit is visible, as the other half is covered (it is a rather shallow pit). This cylindrical hole in the floor has two rotating arms of great mass that rotate at sonic velocities from the center, sort of like a misshapen giant food processor. Countless monsters can be spawned in the grinder only to see the arm sweep them underneath the covered section, and the same arm emerging with nothing but a bloodstain.

The grinder, after being discovered, became the primary method of producing Noobioes, The Breakfast Of Champions. The process is simple- all the noobs of the world are captured in their gaming sessions and MS-DOS prompt "hacking" sessions and are thrown simultaneously. When the grinder is turned on, all the noobs become something like ground beef, and they are then removed and turned into little 'O' shaped cereals. The grinder is truly an amazing device that is not to be taken lightly - however, if wrenches or chairs are mistakenly thrown into the grinder, jamming and lag are sure to ensue- so be careful on the types of noobs that are thrown into the grinder.
"I heard Gerald got turned into noobioes"
"How did that happen"
"Simple, he was thrown into the grinder on the Doom 3 demo."
"Well, he has been turned into something useful! The breakfast of champions!"
by Carson Myers July 02, 2007

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