n. A Japanese psychological mass-casualty weapon, developed by scientists at the Sanrio Corporation; unleashed upon humanity in 1974 with the goal of subjugating the planet under Japanese imperial rule.
Nobody knows how Hello Kitty
works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese
") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon
and Dragonball Z
Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty
may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.
"The people of the United States have already formed their opinions regarding Hello Kitty
, and well understand the implication to the very life and safety of our nation."