47 definitions by Carl J. Maltese

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese October 23, 2007
Ancient CB* term from the late 1970's meaning "prostitute in area." Experienced prostitutes would travel three-or-four to a car equiped with a CB radio and/or police scanner and cruise truck stops at night. During the height of the CB craze in America, some truckers would stay-up all night on their CB's talking and jabbering in their strange CB codes. The prostitutes would cut-in on the conversations announcing "commercial comfort" had arrived. This would then be followed by hand signals or flashed headlights indicating who their next "customer" was.

The term "commercial comfort" was last heard on the dying CB airwaves as late as 1998, just prior to affordable cell' 'phone plans and the Internet took over.

(*Citizens Band radio)
"Breaker-breaker, this here is Cinderella offering commercial comfort back by the gas trucks. Come back on that?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
1970's term for who are now referred to as burnouts and dirtbags.
"You know that new kid around the corner? The one with the hippie parents? He's a real cigarette smoking Scurv!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 10, 2007
This millennia's Perpetual Poster Boy for birth control, incest, congenital mental impairment, miscegnation, sexual debauchery, beastaltiy and animal cruelty.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.
Be sure to read Bill Frist's self-published genealogy "Assholes beget assholes"...uh, I mean "Good people beget good people."
by Carl J. Maltese November 12, 2007
Acronym for: Gamma Ray Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
"Popular Science magazine says the GRASER really does exist.
That's all fine-and-dandy...like we don't have enough weapons of mass destruction at our disposal."
by Carl J. Maltese March 25, 2007
"Imatation" spelled backwards. Used as a seemingly harmless word to describe someone of either gender who is: an annoying braggart, a B.S. artist, an egotist, is shallow, fake, two faced, and/or self-centered, and/or all of the above. Usually said "person" is so-full-of-themselves that they never figure out what the word is or means!
"Ha! Listen to that Mikey talken' about single-handedly winning the football game! Like we didn't help. What a noitatami!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 22, 2007
Derogatory term for a homosexual male. First used by Howard Stern.
"Are you just another turd tapping Hanes grazer!?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 09, 2007

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