17 definitions by Cardenio

Top Definition
loser – n. A person who has fallen off the social ladder, climbed down the social ladder, jumped off the social ladder, or just never bothered to climb the social ladder in the first place. Upon arrival on the ground, losers begin to befriend fellow groundlings and realize how much fun a person can have when gravity isn’t an issue. It is perfectly acceptable to insult losers, because they have nowhere to fall to and it won’t hurt much. They will end up laughing about it later, anyways. Every now and then, a loser will glance at the top of the social ladder, but it is never long before they realize how pointless and stupid the top of the ladder is.
person: you're a loser and a nerd, i hate you.
loser: ok
by cardenio April 06, 2005
a place where your horoscope is correct more often than the weather channel
"independence day fireworks have been canceled due to heavy snow and low visibility"
by cardenio February 04, 2005
someone who makes fun of trolls for their reaction to three feet of snow
troll: man, we got a lot of snow
yooper: eh?
troll: three feet, man!
yooper: yah
troll: no school, man, it was sweet
yooper: you closed school for three feet of snow?!?!??!?
troll: you like excessive punctuation, don't you?
by cardenio February 04, 2005
the most-ignored location on the map
"hey, michigan is shaped like a hand!"
by cardenio February 04, 2005
city in michigan with a mayor who publicly cusses people out

polluted river in michigan teeming with three-headed fish and mutant demon golf balls
"so, where're you from?"
"uhhh.... never mind"
by cardenio February 04, 2005
The greatest instrument ever. The instrument that gets to play fanfares. The instrument that can produce many messed-up (in a good way) sounds. For example, blowing air across the valve end caps produces a low wind-whistle, and if you trill the valve, the wind-whistle also trills. You can shriek by blowing a sharp burst of air across the mouthpiece. You can sound like an elephant by lowering the valves halfway and blowing.

Also, the first five letters spell "trump"
--Whoa, what's that? It's friggin' huge!
--That's the trumpet ego.
by cardenio February 04, 2005
social ladder – n. Metaphorical ladder that nonlosers are continuously trying to climb.
analogy The social ladder is like Mount Everest: Lots of people try to climb (be popular), but few reach the top (become popular). At any point you can fall into a crevice (fall off the ladder), or fall victim to hypothermia, starvation, fratricide, etc. (drugs, alcohol, fratricide, etc.) and die (die). Also, getting to the top is completely pointless, unless you really want your name to be known. Except that nobody remembers who climbed Mount Everest anyway.
see my definition of loser
by cardenio April 06, 2005
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