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2 definitions by Capn Con

 
1.
A class that teaches students about the English language. During the early years, English is a very useful, important, and most of all fun class. By middle school, however, English class becomes a redundant class where students are taught the exact same things (basic grammar and punctuation, paragraph structuring, etc) over and over again. By high school, the fun and useful class has been completely replaced by an idiotic course where too much emphasis is placed on over-analysis and essay writing (where the teacher usually tells the students to write a five page essay that could be easily done in three), and less emphasis on creativity. High school English is the period where many idiots get the impression that Shakespeare is the only playwright to exist in EVER and that no significant literature has been published since the late Victorian era.
An average English class:
English teacher: Today kids, we're going to go over basic grammar and punctuation for the five billionth time right before I start fellating Shakespeare!
Students: Hooray!
by Capn Con December 08, 2008
295 64
 
2.
A video review series by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. Gained popularity on Youtube with a speed not seen since the Angry Video Game Nerd, and after only two quite funny videos was hired by online magazine The Escapist. After being hired by The Escapist, the jokes in the reviews started to get less subtle, and subsequently less funny. Eventually, the guy simply got obnoxious, often making off-topic rants against anyone and anything that earned his ire, most egregious when he said that Halo was unoriginal, then later said that he had never played a Halo game in his Halo 3 review. The rampancy of his unchecked ego became most obvious in his "review" of Super Smash Bros Brawl, where he simply spent half of the video bashing anyone who may like Smash Bros, then dedicated a whole video to the hate mail his excuse for a review generated. He seemed quite surprised that people responded negatively to the fact that he had spent two minutes simply bashing anyone who doesn't share his tastes. Has a legion of idiotic fanboys who will declare that Yahtzee proves that whatever game he reviews has just been PUHOWNED!!1 and that Yahtzee is the only reliable reviewer, then yelling at anyone who disagrees with Yahtzee that his videos are for humour value only and shouldn't be taken seriously, too busy trying to earn Yahtzee's love to notice the contradiction.
Yahtzee: Hello, time for a new Zero Punctuation video. Today, I will bash X game for reasons that are stereotyped and just not funny. I will then talk about how fans of X game or console are idiots and how they are ruining the whole gaming experience for me, because the personal opinion of a single person holds sway over the entire gaming industry and I am immature/stupid enough to care what other people are playing. Also, people who pay attention to reviews are dumbasses and should pay fifty to sixty dollars for a game that they might not even like, because every gamer works for a company that will reimburse them so long as they make a review about it.
Fanboys: YAHTZEE JUST PWNZORED THOSE BITCHES! I'M GOING TO GO TO TV TROPES AND PUT A VAGUELY RELATED QUOTE ON EVERY GAME TROPE ARTICLE THAT WOULDN'T EVEN BE DISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE THREE MILLION OTHER SNARKY REVIEWERS IF NOT FOR "Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation" AT THE BOTTOM! *faps to Portal*
by Capn Con December 08, 2008
476 398